justkeepon Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 This is sort of a random thread, but I'll write it anyway. I notice it all the time... the pattern of women who seek men who turn out to be jerks. I dunno what it is, but I can't seem to get women to be interested in me as their love interest. The thing is, in my mind I think I have a cool personality and whatnot, but for whatever reason various women can't dig that. My guess is that their biggest turn-off towards me is my looks. I have a lot of confidence in myself and I think I look handsome, but I am rather slim so that's probably the main reason why various women aren't into me. A while ago I took a personality test and it's quite accurate (in my case). I found out that I'm an ENFP which is this (I just copied the main parts, which in fact definitely describes me): * Project-oriented * Bright and capable * Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills * Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people * Able to relate to people on their own level * Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above their own * Future-oriented * Cooperative and friendly * Creative and energetic * Well-developed verbal and written communication skills * Natural leaders, but do not like to control people * Resist being controlled by others * Can work logically and rationally - use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it * Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories Highly recommended careers for ENFP people: * Consultant * Psychologist * Entrepreneur * Actor * Teacher * Counselor * Politician / Diplomat * Writer / Journalist * Television Reporter * Computer Programmer * Scientist * Engineer ------------ So, if you can't tell already, I am naturally very people-friendly, as opposed to being the "lady's man" type of person. I guess my question for you all is what should I do to grab the attention of women in order to get with them, i.e. how should I flirt with them? Like what types of questions should I ask them and whatnot.. I am new to this type of stuff, ahaha... Link to comment
BriarRose Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 What type of women are you going for? I mean, specifically? Link to comment
BMP2CPM Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 ------------ So, if you can't tell already, I am naturally very people-friendly, as opposed to being the "lady's man" type of person....I guess my question for you all is what should I do to grab the attention of women in order to get with them ... It has nothing to do with being a jerk and I really don't think your problem is looks. Women really don't focus on that much. DO be people-friendly DO NOT tell women everything about yourself in 5 minutes (based on your post, I kind of get that impression that you might) DO be mysterious (reveal yourself VERY slowly) DO be a challenge (take your time to get back to them, don't make them the priority in your life) DO NOT spend too much time with them, ie make enough time for yourself DO focus your conversations on them, ask them lot's of questions about them, don't say much about yourself unless they ask you DO realize that all women are evil (Seriously, they all are and if you let them they will walk all over you. But once you get past understanding the evil part, they are great to be with.). DO realize that all women's behavior really isn't that much different from a child. The difference is that as an adult, a woman tends to not really mean what she says as a way to protect herself. Seriously, you can learn a lot about women's behavior by watching a young child, especially a woman's need for attention, what they do to get attention, and how they react when you don't give them attention. So if you have a friend or relative that needs a baby sitter, volunteer! You'll learn a lot. Good Luck! Link to comment
offtherecord Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Back in college my friends and I came up with a game for picking up women. Well it wasn't so much a game as it was a low pressure way of showing a woman you've just met who you are at the outset, in a way that is likely to create attraction. Basically, when we would approach girls at parties or bars, the idea was to show the girl five aspects of ourselves during the initial conversation. Those five things were: physical attractiveness (including style), confidence, status, sense of humor, and intelligence. These were the aspects we believed the majority of women looked for in a man. You can only control how you look so much, but the others are all controllable. And the idea isn't to be someone you're not. Rather, it's to use your strengths to let all these aspects shine through in a way that is uniquely you. Also you can't get so caught up in it that the conversation isn't natural, and you have to make sure you're not just talking about yourself. Women tend to like talking about themselves, and it's possible to hit on all five aspects without revealing that much about yourself. And be confident, but not arrogant. So while a ladies' man might show his confidence through the bold, flirtatious things he says, there are many other ways to show confidence. You don't have to be a ladies' man, you just have to be attractive. So you observe that women ask "where are the good guys at" but instead end up opting for "jerks". Well in my experience women do like good guys, it's just being a good guy isn't in and of itself something that ordinarily creates attraction at the outset. But you can use your "good guy" qualities to show a woman that you're attractive. You say you're a people person. So tell a joke (a combination of light teasing plus jokes at my own expense tended to work best for me, but there are many ways to be funny), talk about current events or something important, and talk about something you're good at and passionate about. These sorts of things come naturally to an extrovert. If you can show a girl you're confident, successful, funny and smart, that's more than half the battle. Then the idea is, look out for signs that the girl is interested (flirting). If you see enough, ask her for her number, and she'll probably give it to you. If you don't, then you can move on without really having put yourself out there. Hence the low pressure. I met my last two girlfriends using this way. Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 All you have to do is Be confiedent Exude Masculine qualities(Alpha male, not a push over, needy, confident body language, wear colgone, dress GREAT) Be a little cocky Do be too available Don't give them all of your attention let them miss you TEASE Flirt Touch BE PLAYFUL Link to comment
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