gf talking about having crushies on other dudes

[thegr8maurader]

im soo confused, a few days ago my gf and i were jokin around and i asked her about some guys she knew, and she went on w a few guys that she liked. when ur in a relationship rnt u usually attracted 2 just that 1 person or have i lost it,

thanx

[kungfumaster]

Yah - I don't understand that too?? I mean, I think its okay if your gf says she's attracted to celebrities - that's understandable like us guys have crushes on celebrities too. And I think its normal to be attracted to other people too when your in a relationship, but the thing is, you just don't act on it because you realize - hey, I've got myself a "hot tamali" myself, so that's it.

 

I mean, I think its okay if your girfriend is talking in the past tense, i.e., I USE TO have a crush on this or that guy, but if she said it in the present sense - what's up with that?? How would she feel if you said to her, oh I have a crush on your friend, and I think she's really hot?

 

Confused with you too man.

Kung fu

[mahlina]

Hmm...Good Question. I guess for me, it's different. That's where I build immunity for some reason. It's weird. When I have a man, the only guy that looks attractive to me, is him, for some 'strange' apparent reason. I think that it has to a lot to do with our genetic makeup and personality. I think it's called oxytocin, the hormone of love. Men have this too, but women have it more. So, every time we think about our 'man,' our SNS (sympathetic) system, automatically releases that hormone, which causes us to feel attraction for them all over again. That's what I think, makes some women more 'whipped' than others. Too bad. Unfortunately, we're just too genetically, pre-diposed. It's a benefit on the men's part though, because they can find relief that we tend to be more loyal and commited. (However, some women cannot control their desires: I.E. the actual cheaters, who sleep around, the 'uncontrollable' wabbits). It's like the practice of 'foot-binding'. All except, it's our genetics that keep some of us women from wandering. That's why we naturally feel like their men should feel the same, because that's how much we invest our commitment. thereforeeee, that's what makes us so different. It's our genetics and hormones, that imbalance is hard to understand.

 

That's just my explaination for it. I admit, I do find other men attractive when I'm in a relationship, but it's just a simple glance, and a "Yeah, whatever...My man's the better looking one, my 'Macho' Man! (But, in reality, they're not all that. It's just the hormones in our brains that tell us they are, even if they're 10 lbs. overweight!). That's how I rationalize this situation. I think that for couples who are in relationship, this issue might come up here and there, because genetically, some women cannot help it. That's why some women have a big 'issue' about this, when we really don't intend to. It just hurts us to know that our man gets turned on by 'another' woman (not a celeb), when the only person who turns us on, physically, is our man. Our only 'Muchacho'. We respect the relationship enough, and consider it as a sensitive boundary. But, once both partners love each other enough, I think that it becomes less of an issue.

 

And, it also has a lot to do with how we see ourselves. If we make it an issue, then it does and will become an issue. But if we learn to be 'whatevers' about it, then it doesn't become an issue. It also hes a lot to deal with if we feel confident on whether or not, the relationship is secure. If the relationship is 'healthy' and nurturing, then chances are, woman won't feel as shaky about this issue, because we feel at ease in knowing that the relationship is 'stable.' That's just from personal experience though. thereforeeee, I guess it's a combo of everything that's mentioned above. Hope this helps!

 

Mahlina

[chedchase]

It would be interesting if you did the same thing back to her and see how she reacts.

 

 

I almost want to say that she takes what she has with you for granted, but I won't assume anything.

 

I know girls are attracted to other guys in some form (physically, or attracted to their character, attitude) but I have come to learn that what separates us from them is that the girl is attracted to everything about us. Meanwhile, she is only attracted to one part of the other guys. I think its a part of maturity and the best thing you can do is let it roll.

 

Afterall, she's with you and not them. Make her miss you, that may cure this pretty fast.

[thegr8maurader]

i dunno what 2 say or do, when she said those things i was just like ok, i mean i kno she loves me and wants 2 be with me but why would she want 2 say things like that, it gets me thinkin that she is lookin for other men or somethin