Lack of motivation to do anything

[AJEDrew7]

I'm sure there have been threads about this before, but I just need to vent this and hopefully someone can help me out. Basically, the title says it all. I'm a senior in college. I wake up in the morning, roll over, skip all my classes, don't do my assignments, don't engage in anything "productive" throughout a day. I pretty much surf the net, listen to music, and watch TV if I'm awake. Otherwise, I sleep 12 hrs a day. When I sit down to do work, I can't focus and doing anything takes hours when it should take minutes. It gets frustrating but I can't break the cycle. I have no goals. I don't even know if I'm doing what I want to be doing. I have no passion for it. I don't see myself going anywhere in life. I pretty much doom myself to fail at everything I do. I guess this means I have no confidence. I'm not happy. I guess I only see myself being happy if I'm in love and together with that person, which I know isn't true. But, I can't see otherwise because I was happy til my ex broke up with me a few months back. I have no activities or hobbies. The few days I've made it to class, I draw to distract myself from paying attention. I want to play guitar and travel Europe, but I don't even have the motivation to actually go out and buy a guitar or make the effort to learn to play. I have no motivation to plan a trip to Europe, a long with the fact that I've been using the excuse that going alone is not an option, since no one wants to go with me. Needless to say, I don't like who I am as a person (well, I know I'm nice, compassionate, and a good friend) but as for what I do, I hate myself. I need help regaining motivation? I kind of feel like I'm depressed (maybe this is why?), but that I can fight through this on my own. Maybe I'm wrong about that?

[blanche88]

You should see a psychologist/university counsellor... it sounds like you're depressed/isolated/have self-esteem issues. And you should start going to classes and paying attention; you don't want to fail and make things worse. Also, once you're disciplined in one area, you'll find it easier to be disciplined in other areas.

 

Also, you should learn the guitar, if that's what you're interested in... It sounds like you don't really have a life at the moment (no offence), but just think of this a temporary rut, and work on changing things...

[gidget1]

I don't have much input but believe me, traveling alone is awesome! You really learn a lot about yourself!

[Blockhead1013]

Kinda in the same boat. I've come to realize you really need to have a passion and have some solid goals in mind if you want the motivation to follow, and I think its really hard to develop any sort of passion if you're depressed (which I can definitely tell you are). If you can afford it, or even if not, try to see a psychologist (through the school's medical center maybe). I tried it last year and I'm still in the same place, I was put on anti-depressants that just didn't cut it for me, but I just started going back and am going to try new stuff because I can't seem to make anything interesting to me anymore.

[AJEDrew7]

Thanks guys, I'm not a proponent of anti-depressants so that's not an option for me. One of my good friends has been on them for years and honestly, there isn't any noticeable difference. She still gets upset/depressed easily. So, I pretty much know that if I really want to, I can change myself. I just need some sort of way that allows me to focus on doing things and then eventually motivation will grow from there. In a way, I guess I was looking for ways people motivate themselves to do things, especially those things they don't want to do, and how people remain confident in themselves despite all indications they're failing. I'm essentially leaving it to myself to fix me, because I know I'm really the only one who can. I guess going to the school counselor would be a last ditch effort if all else failed, but I'm not quite there yet (and I don't want to ever get there), which is why I'm here, trying to take some sort of initiative to get myself out of this funk.

[blanche88]

I guess going to the school counselor would be a last ditch effort if all else failed, but I'm not quite there yet (and I don't want to ever get there)

 

From what you've described, it sounds like you are 'there'... it's clear you don't want to go, but you probably should. (Also, it's not a mark of shame- you shouldn't feel as if you're a failure/strange/whatever for going.) At least go if things haven't improved in a couple of weeks' time. I can understand being opposed to taking medication, but there's nothing wrong with describing your problems to a counsellor and seeing what they say. it would probably be more effective than asking a forum.

 

In the mean time, as I said, start going to classes, get some hobbies (you're already interested in the guitar, which is good... many people in your situation say they're not interested in anything), exercise for half an hour each day (do this if nothing else, it's very effective for people with depression), hang out with friends, etc. I don't understand the lack of motivation, so i can't advise you there... how is doing nothing preferable to being productive?

 

I guess I only see myself being happy if I'm in love and together with that person, which I know isn't true. But, I can't see otherwise because I was happy til my ex broke up with me a few months back.

Even if you met someone, you'd just be relying on them for all your happiness... it's a cliche, but you need to work on yourself first.

Good luck!

[jcs]

I would recommend getting into volunteering if you can find time. There are many different voulenteering options, one i recommend looking into is the big brothers program. But it doesnt really matter what you do just that you are helping others. It is very rewarding

[rchang01]

I am a sophomore in college and I am going through exactly the same thing you are. I don't go to class, don't do any of my assignments, just stay in my room playing games, and have absolutely no motivation to break myself from this pitiful state even though I want to. I had planned to transfer to a different school for several months and had several costly meetings with people to help me transfer; however, I haven't taken any steps to do anything about my transfer. Regarding to my academic and social life, I am managing to maintain a B since my Freshman grades were extremely high while having a few friends. Basically, I have absolutely no motivation to do my work, take responsibility, socialize and even do the things I enjoy. Despite there being counseling and medication for this, I feel that this is a state that only I can break and, honestly, I am just looking for ways in how people motivate themselves everyday. Maybe I am depressed, I don't know for sure, but all I know is that I lack confidence and motivation to progress any further in life while, at the same time, extremely desire to achieve my goals and break from this cycle. For now, I am going to try different ways in motivating myself (talking to family and friends, motivating myself somehow, and maybe, if need be, a counselor or doctor). If I find that any of these helped, I will let you know since I know how much it sucks to be in this state. Also, it would be great if anyone can suggest alternative solutions.

[AJEDrew7]

One thing I decided to do was this. I wrote a list down and separated them into 3 categories. What I do/hobbies/activities, physical appearance, and who I am. Sure, these categories are intertwined, but its just for the exercise. I then wrote out my likes and dislike about myself specific to each category. Then, I took my dislikes and asked myself the question...what do I have to do to fix these problems. Honestly, it may seem stupid, but having a tangible list of the things you need to do to improve yourself helps a lot. The list may be extensive, but doing those things becomes more reachable, and your life seems more fixable. I have since crossed 2 things off my list, and am way on my way to setting my life in the right direction (because neither you nor I wants to continue lacking motivation, direction, purpose, and live in an utter state of meaninglessness) Hope this helps you out, as it did for me. Yea, I'm giving a suggestion under my own thread for advice. Its amazing what a little thought and soul searching can do.

[InBruges]

I feel demotivated quite often. I think a lot of it has to do with not having like-minded people in my life. Whatever motivation I have, I have to find on my own. For the most part, my family and friends have taken many steps back since I stopped chasing their dreams for me. They're not mean about it...just distant and absent.

 

It seems to be a catch-22 in some respect... in order to attract like-minded people, you have to do the work first. But it sure would be easier to do the work if I wasn't alone doing it.

[4harry]

I think what you need is a little bit of success. You need to start feeling good about yourself again. Just do tiny steps day by day. Stop thinking and get active, every little will help.

 

Think about what you could do. You are interested in learning how to play the guitar. That's a good start. Can you find a school and have some lessons? You need to get out of your home.

 

Remember that passion comes in silent whispers and you need to be careful about it. Don't wait in your home for one sudden moment of clarity, this won't happen.

[AJEDrew7]

Honestly, I know a moment of sudden clarity isn't going to happen without changing myself. But, what has helped has been reflection and hearing other speak about their dreams, goals, and being just happy in general. Its all about your mindset. Its all about thinking positively and being goal oriented. Easier said than done...I know, but I sure am getting somewhere. One thing that has helped is reading Randy Pausch. So inspirational.

[Eliza Han]

Seems like you do know what needs to be done, but somehow you just can't bring yourself into doing the things that you "wanted" to do. There was also a time when I was like this. On the outside, I am successful and loved, and had everything a girl could possibly want: husband, career, kids...but on the inside, I felt like I was grinding to a stop. I couldn't do anything, and nothing seemed to bring me pleasure anymore. And though I knew what to do, how to do it, when to do the right stuff etc etc, I couldn't figure out WHY am I supposed to do anything.

 

Then I went deep into myself and searched for the answer why. It took me like 3 full days to do just that...went for a journey deep into my self, to search for the answer. Now I know why I didn't have the motivation, because I simply didn't want to. Because the things that I did, and were even good at doing, were not really what I wanted to do in the first place. Bt I didn't listen to myself, and sold myself out by doing the things that I THOUGHT I wanted to do, and that I THOUGHT other people would appreciate me doing, but in actual fact, is not really what I wanted to do. And when I found my true self, everything snapped into place and I knew exactly what I wanted to do after that...now hope that makes sense to you...