I hate it when girls get emotional.

[Lucy__lou]

So I'm interested in hearing thoughts from guys who avoid, fear, despise, or feel uncomfortable when women show emotion, or try to get guys to talk about emotions.

 

As a woman, I like to work through emotions, but often I find men run away from this, and resent it when you try to get them to work with an issue at the emotional level.

 

I'm very interested to hear guys' thoughts on why it's so bad?

 

I've been reading an interesting text from a writer who was an extremist, but who I think had some interesting insights.

Here they are:

 

"...having a crudely constructed nervous system that is easily upset by

the least display of emotion or feeling, the male tries to enforce a

"social" code..."

 

"...Disapproval of emotional "scenes" leads to fear of strong emotion,

fear of one's own anger and hatred..."

 

"...The female's individuality, which he is acutely aware of, but which

he doesn't comprehend and isn't capable of relating to or grasping

emotionally, frightens and upsets him and fills him with envy."

 

 

I'm interested in your opinions here

 

Thanks

[GoneCrazy]

I dont mind it i rather talk it out and know my GF is doing better instead of ignore her and know its bugging her. Or even if its a really good friend.

[15 Storeys High]

A woman showing emotion and wanting to work through her emotions with someone is fine. I can deal with that. But I absolutely detest when a woman (or anyone) tries to force me to talk about my feelings.

[Lucy__lou]

A woman showing emotion and wanting to work through her emotions with someone is fine. I can deal with that. But I absolutely detest when a woman (or anyone) tries to force me to talk about my feelings.

 

why is that?

 

(oops --- did I just cross the line in asking that? it's an anonymous forum. come on)!

[15 Storeys High]

1. I don't particularly enjoy talking about myself.

2. I was brought up not to show emotion.

3. I can never find the correct words to express myself clearly.

4. I might need to process stuff on my own.

5. I'm suspicious of people's intentions.

6. I just plain don't like it.

[Lucy__lou]

1. I don't particularly enjoy talking about myself.

2. I was brought up not to show emotion.

3. I can never find the correct words to express myself clearly.

4. I might need to process stuff on my own.

5. I'm suspicious of people's intentions.

6. I just plain don't like it.

 

Thanks 15 Storeys, I appreciate it.

It looks like it's all pretty much in the realm of feeling inadequate about your ability to swim in the realm of emotion. Do you think that this is probably the reason a lot of other guys hate it too?

 

Often when a guy gets annoyed at me for showing emotion, or for needing to debrief at the emotional level I feel like they think I'm crazy and too intense. I often punish myself psychologically for not being more cool and objective.

[waveseer]

Here's the deal about emotions, everybody runs on them. Emotions produce thoughts not the other way around (usually). We have choices which thoughts we entertain, and the things we do then in turn feed our emotions in a never-ending loop.

 

What we are talking about here is expressing emotions, everybody has them and sometimes has strong emotions even if they are not showing them or talking about them.

[15 Storeys High]

Thanks 15 Storeys, I appreciate it.

It looks like it's all pretty much in the realm of feeling inadequate about your ability to swim in the realm of emotion. Do you think that this is probably the reason a lot of other guys hate it too?

 

Often when a guy gets annoyed at me for showing emotion, or for needing to debrief at the emotional level I feel like they think I'm crazy and too intense. I often punish myself psychologically for not being more cool and objective.

 

I think that there's a lot of external pressure and expectations on men by a number of forces. Many men around my age and perhaps a little older have been raised to be "men", that emotions are for wimps, that to be a man you're strong and shouldn't have any need to be emotional. But then we also have this other, newer pressure to be new age and sensitive.....there's been a shift in attitude and expectations towards men and emotions over the last 20-25 years and for some, it's difficult to adapt to.