Accept her invitation, or spend more days with her?

[Keraron]

I'm studying at my hometown university and my parents moved abroad two years ago. I usually join them over the Christmas period, but right now I am in a dilemma regarding when to go because of a girl.

 

She is from yet another country and doing her exchange semester at my university. I met her almost 3 months ago and we're somewhere between best friends and love, but she is in a kind of open long-distance-relationship with someone else. She sometimes hinted at wanting to stop that relationship and settle, though I rarely understood whether she meant me. There seems to be potential, but I never made any move.

 

She is on holiday right now visiting the other guy (who is also a friend of mine, but I met him through a different path), and repeatedly insisted for quite a long time that I should join her for at least 3-4 days.

 

I basically have two options:

 

1) Accept her invitation, and from there go to my parents; and probably not see her for 2-3 weeks, after which I'll see her for 1-2 weeks before she leaves for good.

 

2) Refuse her invitation, wait till she comes back to my hometown, spend 1 week with her, go to my parents for 3 weeks, return to my hometown and spend 1-2 weeks with her before she leaves for good.

 

Whether I accept or not, she will leave for good at the end of December, but I want to foster our friendship for the long term (in case I visit her in her country).

 

The main difference is that if I refuse, I have more time with her alone, although it doesn't mean that it will be quality time.

 

If I accept, there is the possibility of enjoying more time together, and confirming to her that I will be a good friend to her even in spite of the other guy.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She is visiting the other guy with whom she is in a relationship...I certainly would not take her up on her offer to join them. If she doesn't want to break up with him then I suggest you keep your distance from her.

[Keraron]

She is NOT in a relationship in the orthodox sense. They are romantic friends, and she once told me that she wants to stop that kind of life (she has other guys like him, that's what I meant with "open relationship"), though not specifying how and with whom.

 

There is a small hope that while the three of us are there, she will tell everyone whom she wants to be in a stable relationship with, and that might be me.

 

But what is more important her is our friendship.

 

If I had friendship in mind (I mean really good friendship, not superficial), should I accept her or not?

 

Also, she insisted repeatedly. I once offered to stay in my hometown so I can look after her cousin who is coming to visit her here, and she insisted that it would be much nicer if I joined her, that she would be waiting for me, etc.

[Keraron]

Please help... Any other suggestions please..

 

I am seriously struggling to make this decision, and I have to do it within hours.

 

Please help.

 

Please.

 

Please.

 

Please.

[dr_styles]

There is a small hope that while the three of us are there, she will tell everyone whom she wants to be in a stable relationship with, and that might be me.

 

Only you know the sort of person she really is, but since when does this happen? ... except Hollywood or someone proposing.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would seriously recommend that you don't go. Let her clean up her act before getting into a relationship, not just because she found someone to have a relationship with.