is it wrong?

[all is flawed]

is the ex girlfriend of your friend always hands off?

 

what the situation is that i really like my friend. However, she just broke up with my roomate about a month ago. it was a clean break, and they both remain friends. we all got to know eachother about the same time b/c we all live on the same floor at college. I was talking to her recently and she was saying how friends of ex's are always hands off, its just a rule. but i sometimes get the feeling that she likes me. I of course don't want to hurt my roomate, but he broke up with her and is over her. should i just suck it up, and force myself to get over this girl that i think is amazing, or try to somehow work it out and try to be with her?

 

any advice is awesome. thanks.

Josh

[Hannibal]

If you think that shes worth a shot then take one. Talk to your roomate and ask him if he would honestly be alright if you pursued things with her. Then if he gives the go ahead then give it all you've got, but it'll take a lot of work to win her over if she doesn't know that her ex is alright with you two.

[pip]

Hi All is Flawed. That's a tough situation to be in. I think on one hand, yes, it's wrong to date a friend's ex. Friends are supposed to be friends no matter what, and not let romantic interests come between them. But then on the other hand, I also think that if two people really like eachother (and might even potentially be a terrific long-term match), then it seems wrong to stop that. If two people have chemistry, they owe it to themselves to give it a try.

 

I suggest you really examine your feelings for this girl. If you really, really like her, then in time you should go for it. But if you only 'just' like her then perhaps your friendship is a little more important. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices - in this case, you might have to sacrifice a chance with this girl to keep your friendship with this guy.

 

You say you think she's 'amazing' - but I think you should really think about that. Ask yourself 'am I just infatuated with her'? I remember when I once became single, a couple of guys became interested in me straight away, but it was really only because I was suddenly single and available, not because they had always liked me.

 

Anyway, if you do decide to go for it, wait a while. One month is too soon, and even though they say it was a 'clean break' and they're friends now, they're bound to still have feelings, issues, etc. So give them a chance to get over it. Good luck

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey

 

Give it some time for now, and depending on how long they've been apart I wouldn't move in too fast or the roomate's not going to understand. Plus this roomate this with you, I wouldn't try and get into a conflict with someone I live with.

 

Heb

[neva_black_n_white]

thats pretty tough, because if the question was genuinely asked then maybe the answers would have been a little more open but its the girl whos actually commented on people being off limits, i guess she could be playing the game and wanting things to be a little more xciting but i think it could be the other side of the coin where she is hinting that she is off limits.

 

if she is worth it as the others have said then maybe you could ask if she wanted to go out some time, but even though your mate is over this break up you dont want her going into a rebound relationship with you and you becoming hurt.

 

just an opinion.

kel