Do I really miss her or just jealous that she's moved on?

[Chandler]

I need your opinion. I was in a relationship for 15 months. Everything was wonderful. We got along great and rarely fought. We even spoke of marriage, and I was ready to marry her. I really thought she was the one for me. There was only one problem. She misses her family and wanted to move home (300 miles away). She came here for school but finished last December. I, on the other hand, did not want to move with her. I felt that if it came to it, I would rather break up than move away from my friends and family and my job.

 

For the last month or so of our relationship, we just drifted apart. We were both just really busy, and didn't spend a lot of time together even though we lived together. Finally we decided to separate to see if we miss each other.

 

For a month and a half or so, I was fine. I did not seem to miss her, and I was surprised that I didn't. I hung out with friends and had a good time. I think in the back of my mind I figure she would just move home. Just 4 days ago, I found out that she has been seeing someone for a few weeks now. I was devastated! I called her and begged for her to take me back and said I would move with her. Since I found out, I have not been able to concentrate on work or school. The only thing on my mind have been her. But she said she has moved on and no longer feels the same for me. I have only been getting 2-4 hours of sleep each night. Everyday I have to resist calling her to talk to her.

 

My question is, do I really miss her or am I just jealous that she has found someone so quickly? Does it take a month and a half before you miss someone you're in love with? I feel a little mad that she gave up on us so quickly, but in reality I did the same. Am I just a jerk?

[Hopingpraying]

Chandler,

 

Because you state the fact you did not have a problem being without her until you found out she was dating another I would say that you have a case of the want what you can't have.

The other thing you have to remember is that you can't make her take you back, so you should just continue on with your life.

You need to be honest with yourself, why did you not even care until you found out she was with someone else? Do you really love this girl, or do you just want her because she is with someone else.. Only you know that for sure.

 

I don't think you are a jerk, this sort of thing is common. But don't call her, don't bug her, just let her go....

[kuhl282000]

Do I miss her ? Well only you can answer that. Sounded if you were doing fine for a month not missing her. Then the move situation, well you had to make a choice. You did, I commend you for that. Then you found out she was seeing someone else. The real issue was clear, the move 300 miles away. You made it clear you were not going to do it. Then she switched lanes, and you were thrown a curve ball. It got you a little worried. And were you jealous ? Only you can answer that (my guess is you were) you called, you begged (that was a bad move) but what is done is done. Now you can't sleep, I have been there. Your self esteem is messing with you at present. Because you feel she choose someone else over you. The truth is you choose not to move, and she was more than likely mad. By saying that in a sense you were telling her it was over. And now that she has jumped ship, you want her back. We always want things when we can't have them no more. It may really be over, and the sooner you except that the more sleep you will get. If it continues, I suggest you see a doctor it can slip into depression.

 

Good Luck

 

Kuhl

 

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