Having his cake and eating it too?

[JewelsInTx]

My ex and I have been talking and seeing each other for 4 weeks now and it is nothing serious so far just 5 dates and we communicate almost daily but not all day. I have this feeling that he wants to take advantage of two lives. One is him being the single guy going out with his friends whenever he wants without answering to anyone and then when that gets old he calls me and set up dates to have the "girlfriend thing." Maybe I am impatient and wants things to fast and just need to relax. I just don't understand what he wants out of it.

Signs that he might want to be together?

1. He has a ton of very unique nicknames for me and has recently started calling me by these pet names. I still have not and refuse to do the pet name things until we are together. I don't know why I guess because it was very relationship like. I had asked why he was calling me that and he said why not he always did.

 

2. We laugh and have a great time and is kind of having a "second honeymoon" period you should say and it has been amazing and very powerful at times. He is extra attentive and aware of my needs there.

 

3. He makes comments about my single friends and us going out partying meeting guys and flirting and so on. He seems a bit jealous in a way when he talks about. He brings it up at last once each time we hang out.

 

4. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he feels very comfortable.

 

5. He randomly texts me stuff and so it's like he is thinking about me a lot.

 

6. He'll make casual comments like "oh you better get used to that if you want to be with me" and just leave it at that.

Signs that he is just having me around.

1. He doesn't ever bring up the relationship or break up or talk about his intentions. I haven't either because I am not ready to ruin the mood.

 

2. He is off three days out of the week and only makes plans with me for 1, which I should be happy about. But its one of those the more you get the more you want.

 

3. On his days off except for the one date night out of it, when he has time I barely hear from him except for maybe two or three text messages but no conversation.

 

4. He talks about his future that will most likely take him away.

 

5. He never ask about what is going on in my personal life away from him.

 

Am I just overthinking things? I have no idea what he wants and am to afraid of receiving the answer I don't want to hear to ask.

[leda]

You need to be clear with him and tell him what you want and need. You deserve these things, and shouldn't have to wait around for him to decide he wants a relationship with you. Is a relationship what you want? Do you feel like you're moving too fast? Does he? Have you talked about these things? Talk to him first and evaluate where you stand. Tell him what you want from him. You have to talk to men like children sometimes. If he can't give you what you need, don't give him anything.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree with Leda...get yourself out of this limbo land by talking to him..if you want to be in a relationship with him, tell him and ask him where he sees this going. If he starts giving you vague answers like "let's just see where this goes" then that means he is indeed wanting to have his cake and eat it too. I assume he dumped you...if a dumper really wants the dumpee back they will say so..they won't be vague and non-committal. So time to see exactly where he stands by asking the question..then if he is too vague and non-committal you can decide not to waste your time anymore.