where is the exit? to leave or not to live a university

[Ruby]

I need some advice!

I'm studying on the law faculty, a third year student, and you can't imagine how much I hate it ! I don't wanna be a lawyer & I won't, but... my parents want me to get a diploma at least. I understand that it'll be very stupid for me to leave a uni, but I have not the smallest motivation/wish to study all this! It was my parent's choice for me to study on that faculty because some years ago I didn't know what profession to choose. I live far from my parents (but with my relatives and that is much worse) because there is a University in this damned town. When I came here I was dreaming of attending some courses to study foreign language but my dreams were failed. There was no any other interest for me, and at that time I knew nothing about law faculty. ... I passed my previous exams like the majority of the students here and I studied the subjects only for three nights max. before the exams thereforeeee... I just wonder what am I doing here..

I can't figure it out what's going on with me now , why I'm so sick of all this after a third (!) year of my "serving" here. This year I haven't been to lectures and seminars for a couple of months since march and I'm not sure that I'll be allowed to take exams. Why all this happening right now?! Yes, it was my choice to follow my parent's advice, they want me to get a good education, but the worst thing is that I can't go on ! I don't know how to make myself to continue the study. And I have a feeling like I'm just wasting my time ](*,) ... I have all what I need and even more, and my only duty is to get a diploma! But I have no wish! I have the opportunities that much of the students don't have and this also make me feel bad, because my parents do for me all they can but I... though this must be point of honour not just to study but to study well ! yes, shame on me... am I the only ungrateful daughter in the world who only creates problems to her parents?..

 

"vorrei potere non esistere più.."

[kungfumaster]

Hi Ruby,

 

The thing with parents is, yes, they will be disappointed - BUT ONLY FOR 3 seconds!! (okay, maybe 4 seconds ). That's the thing about parents - THEY WILL GET OVER IT!! The most important thing you should be considering is YOUR HAPPINESS and what you want to do in your life!! If you keep doing what your parents want you to do, and you're not happy - you'll just end up resenting them later on, and that's not good for anyone. You'll never "grow up" and cut the "apron strings" - you have to take risks and try alot of things before you find your niche. And hey - you might even land a job as a translator or something, and then you can travel the world Now that would be cool.

 

If you do something you like to do and are happy with it, and if it pays the bills - in the end, your parents will be proud because you will have grown up and become your own person. That's ultimately what every parent wants I think (although in the beginning, they always try to steer you into becoming what they want you to be - my parents wanted me to become a dentist - eeeewwww - looking into people's smelly mouths all day - not my idea of fun).

 

Anyways - hope that helps. I wish you courage in doing what YOU WANT to do - I know its hard at first to "go against your parents" - but you have to do it someday because that's just life - you're growing up

 

Take care.

Kung fu

[kalobaby]

Hey I am currently attendign University to get my Business Law degree, and after go to Law School to become a lawyer. I know have had those days that I feel like not going to school, and dropping everythign. Yeah I have question myself is this really what I want? Well yeah, I want to become a lawyer just as you do, and not only any lawyer I want to become the best coorporate lawyer in America, and making lots of money. However "Good things do not come easily". [-X

 

So you have not motivation to continue on this? Well let's try to find one,

How about money? Think of all the things you will be able to buy when you become a lawyer, and all the things you could buy your parents to thank them for all their support

 

How about people? You would be able to help lots of people and a friend or family might need a good lawyer in the future.

 

But let me tell you something I have discover along the road, and that is that your career is not going to fullfil everything in your life, maybe you are trying to find the meaning of life in your career but you are not going to find it there. "Your career is the vehicle to get what you really want in life".

 

If you are looking to find the meaning of your life try looking for it in something more substantial and more powerful than your career, like GOD.

 

Take care and I hope that everything turns out ok.

 

Karen

 

PS Sometimes taking a break will help, but make sure you promeise your self to come back.

[the_peacemaker]

Hi Ruby,

We all are confused with what we are doing at some point in our lives. Having been nourished for so long by your parents, you hadn't learned to make your own decision. I know because I am at the exact situation as you, too. Right now you've starting to learn the meaning of individualism, that is, no one should be allowed to CHOOSE a path for you to take, but they can help you along the way. Anyway, how many more year(s) of studies do you have left? If it's only a year or two. I would say finish with your diploma because it's gonna help you look good in the real world. If that law diploma takes more than 3, 4 years, and you already have some idea what you "really" want to do (i mean really think about this), then i'd say drop that law dip. and go for what you always wanted to do. Just don't listen to what your relatives and parents say now, listen to yourself, because 3 years can really make a difference in your spirit and energy. Think about the time you'll "waste" if you don't like being a lawyer that much. hope this helps.

[Ingrid]

My parents told me I was to be a lawyer like my mom when I was 6 yrs old!!!

 

I wanted to study music. My parents did not want that, because the music environment is extremely competitive.

 

I did not listen to them and went on to study music after high school. I wanted to be a soprano and I had a great voice. My parents paid for my music lessons ... a few years went by until I realised that my parents were right : people were horribly competitive !

 

I then decided to study literature. My parents accepted my choice and financed my Literature degree. But there was no future there. I went to grad. school in Literature with many scholarships, etc... My parents were willing to send my to Harvard if I wanted to, but I realised that in the real world, there is competition everywhere, in every field. The Literature Department was full of back stabbing people who were not interested in learning, but only in getting a degree.

 

I then realized that, since the world is so horrible and competitive, since I had to fight to get by in any field of specialization, I'd better go to Law School and fight for real money.

 

I went to Law School by my own choice and I loved it. It's been the best experience in my life. Now, I can't say I am a millionaire, but, from a realistic point of view, at least you can get a job fairly easily if you're a lawyer and you get some respect at work.

 

I advice you to complete your degree within five years, so that you won't loose your credit. If you really hate it, go to another Law School. Osgoode in Toronto, Canada is great. Fantastic profs!

 

Keep us posted!

 

Good luck!

[eiala]

Hi,

 

Here's my very brief experience: I graduated law - at the beginning, exactly like you, I didn't know what's all about - and I practiced for 2 years, because it was my first job and I got that job with no effort. But what really meant this: when I finished school, my father told me that he won't give me money anymore and he found this job for me - so I accepted it. I left that job because I didn't like to practice law and I didn't like the company and in present I'm almost jobless.

Summary: I never liked law even if for rational reasons I graduated it, and I couldn't keep practicing it. But because I'm already "old" I cannot go to another faculty anymore so that I'm in a stupid situation: I can't practice law but I don't have any other valuable diploma and still I have to work for living.

If you believe that after 2 more years you'll be able to start a new faculty and you'll have all the resources for it, you stay. If not, maybe you should ask your parents for help right now, not when they'll xpect you to win money as a lawyer.

[fantasia2004]

 

 

 

 

Hi Ruby

 

I hear you, Listen up too,

 

If you are really unhappy and you want to change then you must decide what is best for you after all you got this far and yes we all want to please our parents but you must be honest with your self. I thought the whole idea of going to college whether away or close by home is about self-discovery. From the looks of things it sounds as if your parents are trying to live through you to brag to others. Maybe maybe not. I am sure they love you and visa versa . If you like foreign languages take a few classes or particiapte in a study abroad program for a semester or a year and see if you can learn foreign languages by taking classes that way to learn which is a rewarding educational experience. Your parents do want you to succeed but it is after all your life and what youmake of it. Do you want to go down the line years from now and say I wish I had gone that route?

 

good luck 8) 8) 8)

BUeno Suerte!

Ciao!