is it okay now?

[lonelyboy802]

So i have been contemplating suicide for quiet a while now, maybe for a year or more. The only thing holding me back were a few things that i regret and thought i had to make right again.

The major one was to become friends again with my best friend again. To make her happy, see her smile, then be there for her as she went to college until she got settled down and made friends there.

Now it has all come to fruition. I feel like i can go peacefully now.

 

If you think i should go get help then i only have this to say to you, i'm not enrolled in any college cause i didnt think i'd live long enough for it to be of any use. I cant get a job because i'm a chicken * * * * . (however stupid as that sounds i cant really describe it any better) And because of these two i dont have any health insurance. so i wouldnt be able to afford to pay for any treatment or medicine again.

 

Not sure why i'm writing this exactly, i could speculate, like i dont really want to die and this could be a cry for help. or maybe that i just want attention and people to feel sorry for me. i probably could've put more thought/organization into writing this.

[waveseer]

You sound like someone who wants to live but isn't quite sure how to go about it. You might really benefit from a self-help group which are very often free.

[Theblueman123]

Hmm, this may sound odd, but here's my suggestion: You should write a diary. Not so much a catalogue of your daily activities, but your thoughts, emotions, and passions. Everything in your mind put into paper.

[iammyself]

I can tell you that suicide is not the answer. It really REALLY hurts the people around you. My sister committed suicide 3 years ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. The ones you love can really be of help. My sister never tried to get help or contact anyone for assistance with her situation. If she would have asked, I would have gave her the world to come home and not done it. Any of her friends and other family would have done the same thing. Just talk to someone if the thoughts continue. It really isn't worth it.

[Benny11270]

Im going throught the same thing as you , To much of a chicken to get a job , and Iv got nothing to loose by killing myself , But suicide is the cowards way out , If you really want to do it do it. But before you do it , Think about your family , you would ruin your parents life if you did it and by killing yourself you also kill everyone else who loves you. How would the girl that you helped get into college feel? You can't afford meds? You don't need meds , meds make everything a lot worse. I have a rent to pay and Im low on cash and have no job , living in a town where I know noone , my social life has hit rock bottom , havn't had a sexual relationship in over a year and I still havn't killed myself because I know if I did Id ruin the lifes of everyone who loves me and I could never be that selfish.

[Benny11270]

Through* damn typos !

[lotus26]

It sounds to me that you are just going through a hard phase in you're life.

Everyone has moments in there life where everything falls down around them and they wonder what they are going to go, but thats just life.

Start making really small changes to you're life everyday, focus on the small things. you will get through this and you will look back and thank god you are still here.

 

also, please think about the impact you're suicide will have on you're friends and family. My father died 12 days ago and we are utterly devastated, death affects so many people, he died in a accident and i would give anything to have him back so PLEASE dont put you're family through the pain that my family is going through.