Juggling an x, a new guy, and selfish thoughts

[jjnner]

I just got out of a four year relationship. I didn't cry at the end or feel the least bit upset. But I am in totall distraught emotional turmoil over a guy I hung around and hooked up with for only a month, . I'm totally confused about my feelings. He basically told me that he didn't want a serious relationship, but I am totally infatuated with him. I want to be with him, he does not want to be with me. He plays hard to get, or so that's how I take it. I haven't talked to him for about two weeks and tonight he msn'd me we talked a bit and things got intimate. That's leading me on, but cruelly, I let myself be swept away by him. I feel bad, cause I still talk to my ex, he still thinks he still has a chance with me, he didn't take our break up well. I told him I just want to be friends though, I make things very clear to him. He still chooses to hang around me.

 

Should I not talk to my ex anymore? He is always making passes at me, I just want to be his friend.

 

Why does this new guy infatuate me so much? My ex would give the world to me, while this new guy isn't really interested.

 

My life would be perfect if I let my x back in my life, he's "changed" and everything "seems" perfect.

I could take that option which seems like it has no problems, but I cant ignore how much I like this other guy and that would not be fair to my x. Why cant I just be happy with my x?

 

I feel selfish, confused? Don't really know what to think about things?

 

Rejection is so hard to deal with. Being the rejecter or rejected.

[Celadon]

Maybe you're so upset about the new guy because you were really bored or frustrated with your ex? So now, finally, you have a guy who is NOT like your ex, and you want him. He prolly fills some need your ex didn't.

 

I guess you could think about whether you really love your ex or not, or whether you want to go back to him because you are afraid there's no one else out there for you. Maybe neither guy is the one for you. You've got a life ahead of you. Go for real love, even if it means leaving your ex for good and continuing to date others.

[Hopingpraying]

JJnner,

 

I think you should explain to your ex that you want to be friends and that if he still wants more then that then you need to stop talking with him. Otherwise you are just stringing him along. As for the new guy, it could be you just want what you can't have. I am guessing on that.

 

I think if you choose to go back with your EX right now you will only wonder what could of been with the guy that is playing hard to get and eventually you would just end up breaking your EX's heart all over again.

 

Just tell you EX you need time away, and eventually you might be able to work things out. You make your ex sound like he is a good guy, so why is it you don't want to be with him anymore? Just a question....

 

Hope things work out for you.

[jjnner]

Oh boy, long story why I'm not with my ex.

 

To sum it up, we just didn't respect each other, he lived with roommates and I haven't even been over to his house in over a year. His roommate didn't like me, and it just so happened to also be his best friend.

Sadly there are lots of other reasons too, too numerous to list. When its over its over I guess. I feel like I don't have a choice right now, I'm just going where my heart leads me.