Do shy guys pursue???

[justagirl09]

I kind of already posted about this issue, but i need a shy guys view. This guy (whom admitted is shy) had his eye on me for like 2-weeks. Finally, i said something to him to get the conversation going. Anyways, we agreed to meet for drinks one night, and it went well. The next day we texted for a while, and decided to meet up again the next day for drinks and to hang out with his friends. So, that day, we were texting all day until like an hour or two before we met. The next night, he was out and texted me again and we texted 5 times back and forth.

 

I didnt hear from him the following day, or the day after that. So, that night i texted him and he had even asked " Are you doing anything tonight"? I dont know if he was just making conversation, or if he was hinting. But, i was busy. I have initiated 1-2 texts and he has done the rest. I dont know what to make of it, because i feel i have shown interest, but not sure if he is a little insecure or not sure how to pursue me??? I am thinking if i should hint about us hanging out again soon?

 

He is shy, but he knew how to text before, so why the sudden lack of texts??

[googoodollsroc]

Well I'm shy and when I text the girl I like I somtimes leave it like week in between each convosation cause I don't wanna seem clingy or anything or somtimes like the person said above we tend to keep things to a minimum so you don't make yourself look stupid or anything.

[justagirl09]

Well, i texted him today to tell him about something. He was too non-chelant. He has my number.

[justagirl09]

Well I'm shy and when I text the girl I like I somtimes leave it like week in between each convosation cause I don't wanna seem clingy or anything or somtimes like the person said above we tend to keep things to a minimum so you don't make yourself look stupid or anything.

I am leaving it up to him to make the next move now.

[Batya33]

I think you've shown more than sufficient interest. I would stop texting so much because it's better for him to miss you a bit and see you as someone special with many layers (not physical layers, lol) to unwrap and get to know slowly over time - texting means you are always available as a chat buddy and he then has less incentive to ask you out.

I do think shy guys like other guys will ask a woman out if they are interested in the woman and available to date. My husband used to be extremely shy and he got up the courage to ask me out, more than once.

[googoodollsroc]

My husband used to be extremely shy and he got up the courage to ask me out, more than once.

 

Do you mean that like you like rejected (Don't mean that as an insult) him more than once than once or that you went on one date than another after sorta thing?

 

But like Bataya said you gotta stop texting him if you want him to send more in depth texts.

[thejigsup]

I've had shy guys take the lead before. Some don't, however. I don't think there is any hard, fast, rule about this. Shy guys are all individuals. Some will go after what they want, some won't.

[GernBlanston]

Once again, Batya33's explanation is misleading. If he is shy, then he'll more likely interpret a lack of communication from you as a lack of interest on your part.

 

When Batya33 says, "available to date", she's being tricky with her definition. If he asks you out, that means he's available to date. If he doesn't ask you out, he's not available to date. "Available to date" and "asking you out" are essentially interchangeable terms to Batya33, so using one as an explanation for the other (or the absence of one for the absence of the other) is meaningless.

 

That being said, why bother putting any more effort into this guy? If he is shy, why are you interested? Isn't shyness a turnoff?

[Diablo7000]

I'm shy but if I see a girl I want I go for her, and sometimes I'll even admit to being shy, doing so creates a comfort barrier cause she knows it's taking alot for me to talk to her thus making her feel special, some I pursue others I don't, why? Idk but he's just trying not to over do it, cause I usually do the same cause my shyness will takeover and say don't over do it maybe that's the case, but he pursued you so maybe he's just playing the game well

[Knight of Hope]

There's a big gradient of shy people.

 

The most outgoing are the quiet people - They're definitely introverted, but they'll go after what they want, and a lot of people wouldn't even classify them as shy. This is me.

 

The other end of the spectrum holds the people who are paralyzed by their shyness - They probably open up around their friends, but they won't have many, and probably have few close friends. Guys in this group won't ask a girl they like out because of a fear of rejection. They'll fall for a girl, wish that they could be with her, and then they'll be upset when the girl picks a different guy who actually asked her out. This used to be me. Thank goodness I'm not here anymore. It's not a fun place to be.

 

The guys more toward the quiet end will pursue a girl they like. The guys toward the middle might pursue a girl, depending on how much they like her. The guys who are paralyzed by their shyness probably won't, at least until they get fed up with being so shy and break themselves out of their comfort zone.

 

A common thing for most guys anywhere on this spectrum is that they will want positive feedback. If you give him the cold shoulder, to him that means you're not interested - it probably won't force him to pursue you more strongly. It probably takes more support from you, but if he really likes you, he will return all of that support to you, and more.

[Batya33]

Do you mean that like you like rejected (Don't mean that as an insult) him more than once than once or that you went on one date than another after sorta thing?

 

But like Bataya said you gotta stop texting him if you want him to send more in depth texts.

 

Oh, I meant that he continued to ask me out after the first date -- I always said yes. That was in response to the OP talking about asking him out to show interest - I don't think it's necessary for a woman to do the asking that early on in order to show interest, even with a shy guy.

[googoodollsroc]

Oh, I meant that he continued to ask me out after the first date -- I always said yes. That was in response to the OP talking about asking him out to show interest - I don't think it's necessary for a woman to do the asking that early on in order to show interest, even with a shy guy.

 

 

Yeah I think it's always up to the guy to ask for dates. Like the girl I like just wants to hang out at the moment so I just ask her if she wants to go to the cinema some time or summin but a few weeks ago she asked me to go to the cinema with her and her friends but I said I didn't wanna go cause I would feel like I'm intruding and I think I peed her off a bit there cause she went found the movie really bad (It had too many sex scenes in it) and I think she was sorta depending on me to like talk to her during the film cause the last film we watched we just talked through the whole thing.

 

So don't ask him out cause if he says no you might get hurt from it.

[amethyst exchange]

 

“A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero only one.” Shakespeare.

 

 

'Yes, but it's the important one!" - Rincewind...

 

Plus even if running away only causes more trouble...you can run away from those troubles as well...it's the beauty of the system you see, dead is only once but running is forever...

[justagirl09]

We established tonight that we'll get together soon. So, i gotta play it cool, and let him do the contacting/pursuing. If i dont hear from him, then guess he doesnt like me that much.

[friendsoulmate]

How did you meet this guy or other guys you want to meet? Through your cell phone?

[Mguy92]

Depends. Usually I just mind my own business around females.