Why do I get this Jealous feeling FOR NO REASON!

[VisibleTrash02]

Let me start by saying that I have always been a pretty jealous bf. When I started my relationship with my gf we were both 15. Were both 19 now.

 

At the start of our relationship I found her not to flirt with other guys, but she would not stop guys from flirting with her. That did not last long as I made it well known to her that I did not appreciate her not stopping these guys. It took her a while, but I would say things were better at the first year of our relationship. Were now 4 years into our relationship.

 

She enjoys going out with her girls sometimes to the Club. The first time she went to the club I told her that I would absolutely not be okay with her dancing with any guys. Well I guess that she didnt take me seriously, a guy approched her from behind and started to grind and she waiting a while to stop him. When she told me that I lost it. I did not talk to her for ummm, I believe 3 days.

 

After the 3 days and I expressed how upset I was considering she knew I didnt like the idea in the first place.

 

My problem now is, everytime she goes to the club without me, I get those angry, jealous feelings that I got that night she told me she danced with that guy. I totally trust her that she is not dancing with other guys, She wouldnt do that again.

 

I guess my question is, why do I get these jealous feelings still. I get very jealous when I think about other guys trying to hit on her at the club. She told me the other day when she went, that a guy came from accross the room to meet her, and he said hi I am jeff and my gf answered with hi, I'm taken and she turned her back to him.

 

BUT! I still feel jealous at the fact that he was coming on to her. I understand its stupid to get these feelings when she is doing nothing wrong. Anyone feel like this or have any suggestions?

[catfeeder]

I guess I'd ask GF why she tells you these things. Sounds like she's ringing your chimes, and you're taking the bait.

[faithful14]

I've had those feelings too before. Sometimes before you say anything, you got to stop and think. Think for what reason do you get jealous. Do you think she will leave you for another guy? Are you worried she will cheat on you? If you're gf is an attractive lady (which I assume she is), then she will have some guy hitting on her. But remember, most guys don't know if she is single or not until they talk to her.

 

If you truly trust your girlfriend not do anything appropriate, then give her the benefit of the doubt. If this jealousy issue is stemming from being insecure, then work on not letting it bother you. As long as your girlfriend continues to turn down guys and tell them she is in a relationship (and not dance with them), then just trust her. It's not easy to overcome those feelings of jealousy, but just try.

[VisibleTrash02]

Yeah I feel like that is what I have to do, and I have been trying it, but it just doesnt seem to have any progression. I try to think about how much she is trying for me, but I still get jealous. Its very frustrating to feel like this for both me and my gf. I just want it to stop, you know?

[catfeeder]

Yeah I feel like that is what I have to do, and I have been trying it, but it just doesnt seem to have any progression. I try to think about how much she is trying for me, but I still get jealous. Its very frustrating to feel like this for both me and my gf. I just want it to stop, you know?

 

The fact that the very information making you jealous comes directly from your GF (who is fully aware of how much it bothers you) should be telling you more than you're picking up. You're being manipulated, and you can't figure that out?

 

Next time she tells you tales of getting hit on, I'd ask her to explain why she's telling you this. Either she can handle herself out in public, or she can't. If she can, then she doesn't need to brag about her exploits to you and you're within your rights to ask her to keep it to herself. If she can't handle herself in public--then isn't that something you should consider as a valid reason for not trusting her?