When is it ever the right time?

[uofagirl]

I want to be a mother --- but I can wait to be a mother. But then I'll have my days when I think, "what am I waiting for?" I think, "when is it ever the right time?" I'll think, "it's something you just have to do." Meaning, it's never the right time, you just do it.

 

I want to be a mom. I don't want to be a mom right now. Though, I don't want to wait. It sounds nutty, I know.

 

There will be days when babies are all I can think of. Then there will be days when I think selfishly and think I don't wanna give up my body, my youth, my sleep, my freedom. Then I feel, will I ever wanna give that stuff up for a baby?

 

It's just one of those things that I am constantly thinking about. I wonder when it'll happen and if I will be happy and content with it.

 

My marriage is just getting back on track. Do I wanna put anymore strain on it?

 

I don't know ... just a little vent I guess. Any thoughts?

[mgirl]

Then there will be days when I think selfishly and think I don't wanna give up my body, my youth, my sleep, my freedom. Then I feel, will I ever wanna give that stuff up for a baby?

 

Yes.

 

Spiritually, there is never a right time, but physically there is. Don't leave it too late.

[uofagirl]

I feel like I am not wanting a baby though, for the wrong reasons. Like, I don't wanna give up my body and my sleep ...

 

Doesn't seem like a good reason not to have a baby ...

[SapphireNoir10]

Your being practical which is good. Its good you are thinking it through sensibly and logically. If it feels right, and you are financially/emotionally ready. Then go for it.

[mgirl]

I feel like I am not wanting a baby though, for the wrong reasons. Like, I don't wanna give up my body and my sleep ...

 

Doesn't seem like a good reason not to have a baby ...

 

It depends how old you are. When i was in my 20s, i didn't want to give up those things either. When i got to my 30s, i was just plain chicken. Now i am approaching 40, neither of those things matter.

 

You will know when it's the right time spiritually. And, of course what i said about the biological clock etc.

 

But as for your title, there may be no ideal right time.

[Lonewing]

The sooner it's out of the way, the sooner they're moving out and going to college, and having babies too....

 

My mom started having kids when she was 20 nd had her last around 37 or so. The point of the matter is, now she's sitting here at 50 not really wishing she was STILL raising kids. there's life After the kids grow up too, and she would kind of like to go live it...

 

Don't worry about the body - I've seen a ton of girls who look every bit the foxy lady now as they did before they had kids. And there's ton who lose their bodies anyway. It's meant to go.

[Nidania]

It all depends on the person in my opinion.

 

I had my son at 22, my daughter at 24. I took comfort knowing that when I am 45, my kids are out of my house and on their own (that's the plan at least)

 

Now when I was 22, I had all the energy in the world. I never slept, I stressed and ran and freaked out all over the place. If I had to do that now at 35, I don't think I'd be able to do it.

 

If your marriage is just getting back on track, you may want to give it another 6 months of quiet stability before adding a child into the relationship.