Feeling Numb after only 2 months of NC?

[INeedHelpFast]

So me and my first love have been broken up (I broke up with her) for about 2 months now. In our relationship of almost 3 years, we broke up on and off a few times (I always "crawled" back to her), but for the same reason, this other guy that she was talking to that made me uncomfortable (and I know he had a thing for her) and she wouldn't cut contact. I asked her to choose between me and him, and there was no response. Long story short, a few days ago I had this dream that she came back and I was really happy and took her back. But, 2 days later, I went to a party, danced with a few girls, and when I came back, all I felt of my ex were memories, not really feelings. I feel like I'm numb. When I think of her and the other guy (she may be dating him , she may not, who knows), I don't feel much of the pain in my heart like I used to. I've had NC for 2 months, but within these 2 months, I asked her once to talk face to face and she said there was nothing to talk about.

 

Is this normal to feel numb? Is this just a phase which will eventually come back to me missing my ex? Also, everytime I meet someone else, I don't act on anything further than just talking because I feel like 2 months after a 3 year relationship is too soon. I also feel like if I jump into another relationship right now, later in the future I will be in a position where I am not comfortable living life without a significant other.

 

As for my ex, her actions caused the break up, and instead of acknowledging that, she just says she accepted the break up and plays the victim card. I guess some people fight for things they want and some people don't care enough. It wouldn't make sense for me to initiate anything if she hurt me, but then again, I could care less as I feel numb.

[sidehop]

It's normal to feel numb but also the memories and the good times will be felt again, it's not a bad thing, it's always good to keep those memories.

 

And you're right after a three year relationship, take your time, enjoy your single life and meet new people

[Fear]

This is exactly how I feel about my ex now (it's been 5 and a half weeks). I don't think it is a phase. I think you let yourself get out there again and are now hopeful that you will love again and that you will meet new people. I started feeling "numb" as soon as I started to socialize and have a good time again. I honestly think it's because when you are stuck in a relationship for so long, you close yourself off from the world, so the only thing you really know or understand is your significant other, and when they leave, it shakes your world completely. When you get back out there, you realize that there ARE other people and that the opportunities to get to know them are endless.

 

Congratulations, you are well on your way to being healed.

[ebik]

i am at the 7 week mark now. i broke up with my bf of 4.5 years. I've been through a lot of emotions so far, not sure if i have had the numb thing yet, it'll probably come soon tho. I guess it's all just the cycle of healing. kinda like they say there are 5 stages of grief - when someone dies. I think its similar when you break up with someone. They may not be dead, but the relationship is and you have to come to terms with it and deal with life without it and move forward.

 

All the best!

[adamt]

I'm at 3 months from break up and no contact. Still have ups and downs. The hard part is when something reminds you of your ex. possibly something you do that you both did. you drive down a particular street or you walk past a shop.restaurant or tv programme you laughed at together, perhaps a film you saw together. also the quiet times at home when your mind wanders. YOu get a sense of something is missing, you feel restless and lonely at times. you dont quite enjoy doing certain things because your ex isnt with you anymore. such as walking in the park,having a bbq..etc just doesnt seem as much fun.

 

just keep yourself as occupied as much as possible. it the only way to stop yourself from crackign up