kpereria28 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Hello, well I am a senior in high school. Graduating in 2010. I know that I'm gay. I'm not 100% comfortable with it but I know that I am and it doesn't bother me that much. I am in the closet. The only person who I have told was my best friend from 9th and 10th grade. We dont talk anymore so I dont have anyone to um...talk gay with i guess lol. I wanna know if college is going to be the same as high school. If people knew that I was gay would they mess with me? Im gonna be going to a community college...dunno if that matter or not but yea. I know for a fact that I would get messed with if people knew about me at my high school. And will it be easier to find another gay man to talk with? I really want to develop a relationship/friendship with another gay male but in highschool its near impossible. I have no experience with men. I have never been sexual or anything close to that with a man. I guess I just want to find a boyfriend and not have to worry about people harassing me lol. Also I have always wanted to have a child of my own(you know when im like 30). But the thing is i'm gay and I want MY OWN child(as in blood related). I do not want to adopt a child that isnt the same for me. I heard stories of gay men getting into relationships with women just to get a child out of the relationship. I could NEVER do that to somebody. But really I cant think of how I can have my own child. Sorry if I rambled. I just wanted to vent out some feelings ^^ Link to comment
d24 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 to be honest college is a time for new beginnings. from now till the summer of 2010 learn to become more comfortable with being gay, and when you join college don't hide it or be ashamed by it. Act confident and happy and people (the non closed minded ones) wont treat you any differently. It's all about confidence and how comfortable you feel. P.S. The child thing is fine, countries around the world are open to gay couple adoption or surrogates, you may yet have a child. we're talking 10+ years though! and everyone is inexperienced with the sex they find attractrive till they get the opportunity to connect with someone. we have 30 year old virgins on here, you're only 17, you have years to discover yourself, don't rush things. Link to comment
chiefoptimizer Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Hey there! College can be as different as you want, provided you are happy and confident in your own head. Find out if there's an LGBT group or some kind of GSA, and join. After you've made a number of gay-friendly friends, it becomes natural to no longer worry about what anyone thinks - at that point, you would only find the need to tell someone when it comes up in a conversation, and provided you're confident about who you are, people will respect your choice to not deny your true feelings. About the baby...surrogate? Not that you need to be worrying about this so early! Also, I don't understand the yearn for one of your own, although I respect your feelings. My own thoughts are that there are hundreds of millions of children in need of a happy and safe home in the world, do we really need to create more humans? Link to comment
pamauz91 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Hey kp, I recommend being yourself when you enter college. It's not like you have to walk around with a rainbow flag strapped to you. (y) Highschool was a real pain for me... I started university this year and thought that it was going to be difficult. Turns out everything kind of fell into place and my friends know and they're cool about it. But like the previous posters have advised, be confident, be yourself, and those support groups are a start. Don't be stressing out about having a child of your own right now. Live in the moment. You've got a while 'til then. ^_^ Pamela. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 College (depending on what college you select and where) is a totally new ballgame. If you go to a large school in an urban area, it's honestly a lot easier to come out and be yourself because honestly, no one gives a hoot. In smaller, more religious colleges, that's a much different situation. In short, go urban. Dance at clubs, meet guys, enjoy yourself safely and responsibly Link to comment
jsx730 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Unfortunately, around here, Community College is called "High School 2.0". So I would be careful about how you go about it at first. If you were going to a University, it would seem to me (straight) that you would have much more support, as I've never really seen anyone getting hassled. There are plenty of organizations where GLBT students can meet each other. Link to comment
JadeSmith Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Honestly I would look at it like this.. College is a fresh new slate, and chapter in your life. If you are 100% happy with yourself..and okay with yourself being gay..then there should be no problem expressing that And another thing, people in college are older and way more mature if that makes you feel better. I started at a community college a year ago and have met some amazing people. I've also met gay people lol It's a completely different atmosphere than high school. Basically, you won't get bullied for being gay in college. It's just not like that. On the downside..there will always be those gay haters out there. But that will be everywhere in your life. In college or not..it's just something that the gay community will have to deal with. Just be yourself, and be happy! And everything will be fine! Link to comment
kpereria28 Posted September 7, 2009 Author Share Posted September 7, 2009 Thx for the comments. Well right now pretty much about 80% of my friends are homophobics. I mean the way they talk about gay people kinda pisses me off but these people are my good friends. I know you guys will say they arnt good friends and whatnot. But I want to keep these guys in my life but i know that i cant let them know my sexuality because they would want to drop me from their life. wow as im typing this im realizing how pathetic I sound. On second thought I should just forget about these guys once high school is finished and hope to find some more open-minded friends once i start college. Link to comment
jimmyvanbeck Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 well when it comes down to it, friends can change, for the better. Also usually the homophobes are, themselves, fags. College is easier, but it might be harder in a JC. JC's aren't much a change from high school, most of the time, to tell you the truth. But hey it doesn't have to be hard if you don't want it to be...... Link to comment
chiefoptimizer Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 But I want to keep these guys in my life but i know that i cant let them know my sexuality because they would want to drop me from their life. You don't know that. In fact, many of them WILL impress you. Some will not care one bit either way, others will be in denial and tell you it's a phase and you will outgrow it, yet others will tell you they're not comfortable talking about this, but as long as you don't try to touch them they're fine with it. I guess the easiest way to lose them is by being unconfident when you tell them - you've got to be strong enough to take the stress and remain cool even in the face of denial and possibly initial rejection. The way to do that is to come out to one person or just a few at a time. It's a bit funny, many of my friends didn't believe me when I told them! I think some still think I'm joking! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.