Dagless Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Little box of memories I keep it under the bed It’s filled with birthday cards and little notes of things you wish you’d said. Pictures of me and you and places we had been Pictures of us together, some you’ve never seen. Little box of memories hidden under the bed. It’s filled with Christmas cards and little lists from a life we wish we’d lead. Old cinema tickets and some clothes you use to wear A bracelet and a token from a night at the fair Little box of memories It’s not much to show. I never see in pictures how your face used to glow. It sits in the attic now, all dusty It’s not that I don’t care. It’s a little brown box..... I don’t keep my memories there. 1 Link to comment
withoutanet Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 That was a very good poem. Very well done, says everything I've been trying to say for a while now. Nice work. This would make a good george jones song. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 That was a very good poem. Very well done, says everything I've been trying to say for a while now. Nice work. This would make a good george jones song. Great Poem!! I used to have a little brown box till I decided it was time to move on... Link to comment
EQD Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 dagless you are killing me with these wonderful poems. 1 Link to comment
Dagless Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 Awww, thanks guys These days I find that if I don't finish a poem in one sitting then I end up not finishing them at all. This one was a little stubborn and it had to be swapped around quite a bit before it sounded right. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Ohh, this is just marvelous. Truly so full of evocative visuals and that anticipation I always have now reading your poems, where I'm going, "What message will be in the end?" LOVE it. It's perfect. I tweak my poems for ages, but nothing could be improved here. Link to comment
Dagless Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Oh no! I can't be doing with being predictable, I'll have to start mixing my style up a little bit Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Oh, I wouldn't call it "predictable", I'd just say there is always a meaning and a place the poem leads, whereas some poems just don't seem to intend much. I get these little tingles when you hit the punchline. And everyone has a style! But it's nice to mix it up....I find that's really hard. My "style" always wants to come back and be part of it. Like when I try to rhyme like you, I'm totally out of my element. I totally would love to rhyme like that but meh, it just doesn't have the flow. Link to comment
Softcentered Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 i really like this! a lot said in a little.. thanks mate.. a very nice read =) Link to comment
Recommended Posts