2 weeks broken up / running into him / confused

[abnyc]

so i dated a guy all summer, about 3 months. he's 33 I'm 30, we have tons of mutual friends. we met and quickly started dating and had a great relationship.

 

he had to go out of town for a few weeks for work, when he came back we really got close and i was introduced to a large amount of his family members and close friends. things did get fast quick -- he was spending almost every night at my place and we were communicating all day via gchat or text.

 

out of the blue 2 weeks ago, he ran into one of my best friends (that he also knows) and dropped on her that he didn't see us "going anywhere" and that "it was over". my friend called me (of course) shocked and told me.

 

I calmly called him and he insisted we meet up that night. we did and he dropped that bomb that he's looking to settle down and I'm not "long term material" (which is the opposite of what he had been telling me for 3 months). he said he wanted to be friends and that he still was attracted to me but is to lazy to put the work into a relationship (contradicting himself).

 

I was shocked to say the least, and amazingly didn't freak on him. I waited 2 days, called him and had a quick convo that thanked him for ending it and i said goodbye. I have not emailed/texted/called or anything being sad or angry (even though i have wanted to a million times). I'm crushed to say the least.

 

In any case over the last 2 weeks of being broken up, he's attempted to gchat me twice and called. I have not replied because its always been benign stuff like "so whats up?". I dont feel the need to respond to that.

 

In any case i ran into him last week and was polite, said hi, and went on my way (we live in the same nabe and have mutal friends). last night i ran into him and he completely ignored me. like capital I ignored me. I played it off and chatted with my friends and left. WHAT GIVES?

 

like i thought he wanted to be friends and be polite? why the complete snub? his 2 friends he was with even came over and hugged and kissed me while he sat at the table alone.

 

insight please.

[jul-els]

He's brooding. Let him stew. He deserves it. At any rate, it's not your concern. I wouldn't waste my time worrying about someone who so clearly doesn't know what he wants.

[abnyc]

yeah but brooding why? he got what he wanted, freedom? why brood? I'm the one that should be upset in the corner. right? what am i missing here.

[jul-els]

Sounds to me like he's staying true to form. Kinda childish. Just be glad you don't carry yourself that way.

[abnyc]

thanks jul-els. its so confusing. like dude, go have fun. i'm not running you down and I'm not freaking out on you.