hes been deployed to okinawa japan.

[libra smith]

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship since november. He is in the navy. He just received orders for japan. We have been handling the distance well up until we found out he was going over seas. Now the fear of the distance and theextra strain of trying to figure out the communication means and that is causing us to argue and close off our very open communication prior to the onset of the new orders. we are not new to the dating scene he is 28 years old and i an 31. but we are definitely afraid of the distance and the strain this could put on our relationship. The only way we could change his orders is to marry.Niether of us feel that we should do that in order to change his destination though we love each other very much. Rushing things could be detrimental to our relationship and so could the distance. Any words of encouragement?

[Jen23]

I am in the Air Force and i was in a long distance relationship. It didn't work out for us for a lot of reasons. Here is my words of incouragement. A year and a half ago i was in Korea. It's considered a remote and no one can bring their families. Alot of people make it work. You can go visit him and he should be able to take a "mid-tour" and come visit you. If you guys really love each other you can do it. It is hard, but you sound like you already know that. Good luck and i hope you guys make it!

[faeriechyld]

First of all, I want you to stop, take a deep breath, and relax. You're getting all worked up over the idea of not making it and he hasn't even left yet. To be and stay in a LDR is not something you can decide to do right now. This you probably already know. You're going to decide over and over again to be with this man when he leaves, it's not going to be a one time decision.

 

Secondly, it's ok to have doubts, to have fears, but you have to trust yourself enough to know that your heart will tell you it's limits. And if this relationship does become too much of a strain, your heart will let you know.

 

My suggestion is to try it, and to agree to just take it one step at a time. If it doesn't work out or it becomes too much for you, at least you can say you gave it a shot. It's not going to be easy, and you know that, but you just said you have great communications skills with each other. Use that to your advantage. You're both so worried about what will happen while he's gone, that you are not taking the time out to really see how you feel for each other.

 

I do not encourage you to get married because as you said, it could be detrimental to your relationship. Distance can be as well, there's no point in lying about that, and you already stated this in your post. But I think that if you married mainly so his orders would change, you would regret it.

 

Just try it, talk about it, and try not to worry so much(I know that's next to impossible). This may well be the strongest test of your relationship, and you've gotta figure if you can get through this, you can make it through quite a bit!

 

Good luck and best wishes!

[libra smith]

Hello, well hes on his way home for 30 days and he will be leaving for okinawa after leave. We have talked and talked about what we should do about this relationship and neither of us can imagine our lives with out the other one in it. distance or not. So we are sticking it out. He will go to Japan and we will work it out one day at a time minute by minute whatever it takes. after the first year we will reevaluate the cituation and he will come home and a wedding will be planned and happen then if all is well ! How exciting! A little time! A little Anticipation! It wont change what we have thats real. We are pretty secure in that now. We are not concerned anymore with what God has planned for us. We have forever the Navy cant hold us back. Everything is so clear to us both now and time has definitely helped clarify all the fear and doubt we shared. Thank you for your advice.

[libra smith]

Hello, well hes on his way home for 30 days and he will be leaving for okinawa after leave. We have talked and talked about what we should do about this relationship and neither of us can imagine our lives with out the other one in it. distance or not. So we are sticking it out. He will go to Ja pan and we will work it out one day at a time minute by minute whatever it takes. after the first year we will reevaluate the cituation and he will come home and a wedding will be planned and happen then if all is well ! How exciting! A little time! A little Anticipation! It wont change what we have thats real. We are pretty secure in that now. We are not concerned anymore with what God has planned for us. We have forever the Navy cant hold us back. Everything is so clear to us both now and time has definatly helped clarify all the fear and doubt we shared. Thank you for your advice.