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is patience really a virtue when it comes to sex?


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I got out of a relationship a few months ago (back in June) and I have recently started dating my current boyfriend since Aug 4th so almost a month now. I have had my fair share of boyfriends and intimate partners in the past and am trying to find the right one to settle down with permanently. The boyfriend I am with does make me happy. There is only one catch. He is still a V. I understand he wants to wait for the right moment and wait for a while before having sex but a girl has needs. We’ve kissed and done whats called “dry humping” I guess you could say and he’s fore played with me but my patience is running low. I want to respect him and his wishes because he does say he loves me and I love him too. I miss the sex but I am not sure what to do. Should I talk to him? Any advice would help =]

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What will talking do? Probably just make him feel more pressured.


If you want to respect his wishes, wait. Pleasure yourself, do what you can, satisfy yourself, and teach him how to please you. Its been a month, surely he has alot to learn about you and pleasing you...so why jump right to sex?


The fact that you say 'a girl has needs' says alot to me. More that you care about the sexual aspect than what he's expressed.

If your needs are that strong, then maybe he isn;t the right person for you.


If you can't wait, or the desire to have sex is stronger than the desire to respect his wishes, move along.

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My boyfriend waited almost 9 months when we started dating. I was a virgin, he wasn't.

To me, him respecting my wishes to take things slow, explore each step, build the relationship, was so much more important, and I am so thankful that things went perfect.

Him waiting spoke so much to me about how he felt about me.

There was more to me than my body.

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I dated people who weren't virgins when I was still a virgin, and if I had felt pressured to lose mine after NOT EVEN a month, it not only wouldn't have happened but it probably would have ruined all chances of it happening in the future.


I don't really value virginity in the religious and churchgoing way, but as a personal milestone I do. I value it as growth as an individual, and as an adult, and as a decision that one shouldn't do just because their partner is more experienced than them.


You had your time already to decide when was right for you, presumably. Whether or not you valued it or whether it happened when you wanted it to or not, those are over and done with now. He still has his virginity and with that he still has the right to choose when he feels comfortable enough to do so.


I think that it would be nice of you to wait for him, if you care for him as you say you do. But you also shouldn't make yourself miserable if your heart isn't in it. The virginity part is all about him, yes. But that doesn't mean that the entire sexual part of your relationship is about him. That is about both of you.


If waiting is too hard, do both of you a favor and find somebody who is more up to speed with things sexually and can fulfill that part of the problems you're facing.

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Sex is just one facet of a relationship, I mean, if you do settle down with someone, how long in a 24 hour period will you be dedicating to sex? 30min, 1 hour, 2 hours? you'll still be spending 22 hours or more without having sex together, in other words what do you do together in all that "extra time".


In a happy relationship, it shouldn't be the sex that keeps it together, but only just "part" of it.


If your happy together without sex, when sex finally starts happening, it will just be the icing on the cake.

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