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To good for her???


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ok, so I recently met this girl on and online dating site.. We text/talked on the phone for about a week. I am a youth leader at my church and very envolved in doing that, and I was upfront about my life and beliefs from the beginning. At first she had no problem with it, then we went on a date and it went great (so I thought). We laughed and talked for hours and I thought there was a real connection, we even agreed on a second date. The next day we texted just a little bit, and then the next day she wouldn't text me back at all.. Eventually she texted me and told me that she was just trying to find the "right way to put it"... She said I was to good for her. I for one think this is a cop out excuse for a more shallow reason, when girls break it off with me they always like to use the God thing. The subject of religion rarely came up on the date, except by her! It isnt like I tried to lead her in a bible study or anything haha. She was really cool with it when we were on the phone, Im not understanding what changed.. I really liked this girl, normally this wouldn't even bother me.. She used to be a youth leader in her church too, so we had so much in common.. Do I leave her alone, try to be friends, or what?

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Hey Matt,


Is she religious? I am confused! It sounds like she used to be and isn't anymore, or that she doesn't really stand firm in her faith like you do, or that she is of a different faith. Whatever the case is, I commend you for standing for your own beliefs while remaining respectful to whatever hers are!


But anyway, when she says that "you're too good for her", that's a pretty classic sign it's over. What you do from here is up to you. If you like her, you can try to be friends with her or try and ask her out again, but if she's put you in her friend zone (faith conflict?), it probably wouldn't be worth your time or effort finding some way to get out of it. My suggestion is to find someone who believes as you do, and to move on from this girl. Differences in faith can be overcome sometimes, but a lot of the time, it is honestly a lot easier to be in a relationship with someone when a faith barrier would not be an obstacle!


Best of luck!

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When I was much younger I used to feel like this with "good boys". I was still partying and had no real direction in life so naturally I felt "less than". I think it was an honest assessment at the time that I would be a negative influence in their lives, rather mature for a happy go lucky, freespirited, responsibility shunning youngin' I'd say. Believe her, it's not about intrinsic worth as human beings, it's about your relative positions in life.

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