A bit confused on how to show affection to my new Girlfriend

[gogol]

Hello everyone,

My problem is about a lack of public affection between me and my girlfriend. I'm a 10th grade male, turning 17 in October. I recently started my first relationship with a girl that I've known for over a year now. Our first month anniversery will be in a week. It is obvious to me that I am a shy guy and that I'm not a fast paced person when it comes to pushing forward in a relationship. Right now, I'm a bit confused on what she may be thinking. Before I get talking, I should say that she already turned 17 in early April and she's in the 11th grade. So, there is an irregular age and grade difference between us.

 

Okay, to start this off, when we first started going out, there wasn't much change. There was very little PDA (Public Display of Affection) between us. However, it was obvious, to most people that knew us, that we liked eachother a lot for a long, long time. Anyways, she is a pretty shy girl too, at least when it comes to opening up about herslef. It wasn't until a few days into our relationship that we started looking like a couple. She and I were playing a playful little game of football afterschool with some other friends of ours. She sat on my lap, would tickle my feet (im very ticklish on my feet) and grab me when playing (she was on the other team, so she'd just grab me and say she was defending, lol).

 

However, this PDA was only during football. Inside of school we did very little. Although there was little PDA in school, when we, [and are] online together, its completely different. We do this thing where we talk in the 3rd person, and this lets us to interact "physically". For example, i would say something like...

 

""

 

...and she often will respond with...

 

 

Really affectionate stuff. This is just a small snipit of how we act online.

We pretend to be camping, own our own house, and the such together online.

 

Well, this period of little PDA lasted for a while[not online though. And during this time, spring break came around. I invited her over one day for break [it was planned, so she knew about it] for dinner, a movie, and to meet my parents. We had a great time and when my parents were out, watching their own movie, we looked really like a couple. My arm was around her, she was leaning over my shoulder, and we constatly were footsie'ing and tickling eachother. We both had a great time and she thanked me a million times for a great night.

 

As spring break was going, she said that she really missed me. She said that she wished i was there so that we could snuggle. And I'm sure she ment it. I felt the same way. And, after a few days after our little date together, spring break finally ended. The first day back [this past Tuesday] she was more affectionate than ever, in person. We see eachother for 15 minutes before classes start in the mornings. Since she's there before I am, she waved me over when I arrived. She moved me back onto the wall and leaned on my stomach and rested her head on my chest. All of our friends were around and activally talking with the both of us. This was very different from how we normally were together. The whole day was like this. I'd sit on the floor, and she'd sit between my legs and rest my my chest. I laid down, and she placed her head on my chest. I believed that we reached a new milestone in our relationship.

 

It didn't last though. Despite her saying that she really enjoyed it, that I was cumfy, and that i would get "extra snuggles tommarrow" we didnt snuggle together at all. I would walk behind her and hold both of her hands like I did the day before, expecting her to lean back onto me. But she didnt lean, and it seemed that she sort of walked out of it afer a few moments. Not really contributing to the closness. The same was for yesterday [thursday] and today [friday].

 

She says that I am a good looking guy. She likes my build and such. And I hit on every once in a while, so i dont think that my looks play a part in our lack of PDA. She is on her period right now. I've heard that PMSing can make a girl really affectionate sometimes. So that could be a possibility. But, right now, it seems to me that she's sort of "embarrassed" or uncomfortable about our difference in age and grade to be PDA'ing together.

 

Little addition:

The day that I asked her out, one of her closest friends [a senior] wrote me a note saying she [reffering to my new girlfriend] was happy that we are going our finally. She also wrote that my girlfriend has never been kissed [shes been with a few guys in the past] and that she [my girlfriend] said that she'd like to be kissed by me.

 

We haven't kissed on the lips yet. But when we leave after school to go home we kiss eachother on the cheeks or forehead.

 

Another little addition:

My girlfriend finds me to be very sweet. She's said that I'm much different than other guys. And for that reason, she is attratcted to be and likes me so much.She was really sincier when she told me all this.

 

Well, there it is. Im really not sure about all this. Any suggestions, comments, or advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[nenez]

Hi

Its simple really. The first flush of a relationship involves showing others that you are together. This sweet girl has never been kissed. She is proabaly a little nervous about your relationship moving into the next stage of intimate affection. She felt safe before so she was open to cuddles etc. Now she is nervous so she has withdrawn.

Take it easy with her and don't try to force her along. It will all happen at its own pace.

As to the age difference its a couple of months not ten years, it makes no difference at all.

Enjoy your time together. be happy as friends. All the rest will follow in the fullness of time.

[gogol]

Thanks for your reply nenez.

 

I may have made it seem that she's a shy girl in my previous post. She is shy when it comes to opening up about herself. However, she is pretty outgoing with frieds.

 

For example...

 

Before we started going out. She would lift me up in the hall way.

She has a little brother that she lifts. She claimed that she could lift me up to. I denied her ability to do so. Now, she does it pretty often. And she isnt timid at all. She has lots of friends and such. She gets along with people really well.

 

Not sure if this changes anything.

 

Again, thanks for the post.