ashley001 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 You guys probably all think I'm a complete weirdo because I'm jealous of one of my boyfriend's family members. But I'm not sure why, but I am extremely jealous of her role in his life. In no way I am saying I want to be his sister, but anyways...My boyfriend and I are both 18, just starting college and we're going long distance. We've known each other since the 8th grade, but didn't start dating each other until 11th grade. We have a strong background. So I get jealous when he calls her, or sends her emails or says things like I can't wait to talk to you...Ugh, I sound SO stupid saying these things, and maybe this is just a vent. But I guess I feel like the #2 girl in his life. I don't know...how can I get myself to get over the fact that the love he has for me is different than the love he has for her? Link to comment
ooohnooo Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 You made my day so much better. Wow. I used to be SO JEALOUS of my ex's little sister. And she was like, six! I don't think your #2, but she's still family. Unfortunately. Is there something you don't like about her or is it just their closeness? Link to comment
ashley001 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 No! She is an amazing person! I just TRY SO HARD to get over the fact that 'hey! there siblings!' but i just can't, i feel sooooo bad, but it's also like, i feel so jealous! I feel so WEIRD for having this, but my boyfriend's niece...who is...4..i'm jealous of too...just because of the attention he gives her, like he carries her, feeds her, plays with her, etc. Link to comment
ooohnooo Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 No! She is an amazing person! I just TRY SO HARD to get over the fact that 'hey! there siblings!' but i just can't, i feel sooooo bad, but it's also like, i feel so jealous! I feel so WEIRD for having this, but my boyfriend's niece...who is...4..i'm jealous of too...just because of the attention he gives her, like he carries her, feeds her, plays with her, etc. Thats exaclty how I felt. It got to the point where I would quit going to his parents house and on any trips that he took the little snot on. Er ok that was mean. I'm afraid its just something you have to suck up. Cause they're family, and there is NO WAY to tell him that you're jealous without it causing a huge fight unless you have the most understanding guy in the world.. =( Its sad but most of the time if a guy thinks you have a problem with his family, he leaves. I'm trying to think of anyway you could talk to him about it since obviously it's not her personality or anything that you dont like, it's just the jealousy thing. Is there anyway you can avoid her? Link to comment
ashley001 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 I don't want to avoid her, I definitely want to be involved with his family. I just need to suck it up, haha, but i just wanted to get my emotions out there. this complicates my life. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Have you felt this way since you've gotten together? Hmm, well with both of you going off to college and soon to be long distance, I can understand feeling a bit protective of the time you do have to share together. So any female who gets that special sort of attention, I guess if you see it as being sort of limited with not so much to go around? Is he in the air force? Link to comment
ashley001 Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 Have you felt this way since you've gotten together? Hmm, well with both of you going off to college and soon to be long distance, I can understand feeling a bit protective of the time you do have to share together. So any female who gets that special sort of attention, I guess if you see it as being sort of limited with not so much to go around? Is he in the air force? I've felt this way since we've gone long distance, which i never realized. He left 3 months ago for his bootcamp, he's at the air force academy. I guess I feel that "i want his time to be spent with me" feeling or "any phonecalls you are given should be used on me" feeling...I know it's SO wrong of me, but I can't help it Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Oh well, that makes total sense! You miss him. That's allowed! Link to comment
JCR84 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I been in similar situations where the person I was seeing would get jealous of how I interacted or how much time I spent with my family. Needless to say I've ended many a relationship because of that. One ex gf even went as far as giving me an ultimatum of its my family or its her. Well that argument ended real quick when I bought her a bus ticket home(roadtrip to visit my family). I don't think its so much the fact that its family, e.I. sister, niece, whatever. I believe its the whole female stigma. Would you still feel the same jealousy if it was a little brother? nephew? I doubt it. I thinks its the alpha female complex that causes your jealousy. Same thing with mother-in-law. In a womans world there can and should only be the one dominant female. Unless there's incest going on, there's no reason for such an emotion. But that's just my take on things. Link to comment
takeback22 Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 Ok, I have a similar problem with my boyfriend of 10 months and his little sister. We (my boyfriend and I) are the same age, she is 4 years younger. mid twenties. They have a close relationship (understood) but it often crosses lines. Like when she wanted him to be in the delivery room when her baby was born because the baby's father has not been involved. It seems to me, that when she is not involved with anyone, she doesn't want him to be either. When she doesnt have a boyfriend, she frequently asks him to take on roles that a significant other would normally take. I don't feel like this is right, healthy or normal! And it is starting to drive a wedge between my boyfriend and I, because he allows her to do it. He will complain and complain about what she asks of him, but then he'll go and give in to keep his mom and sister happy. She also now on two occcaisons, demanded I not be invited to a party that he has to attend with her. And twice she has invited along very pretty girls that are attracted to my boyfriend. I'm going nuts. I have been nothing but nice to this girl. I'm getting elbowed out of the picture and I don't know what to do. My boyfriend even admits that she is weird sometimes but he won't put his foot down with her, and I don't know where that leaves us. Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 No! She is an amazing person! I just TRY SO HARD to get over the fact that 'hey! there siblings!' but i just can't, i feel sooooo bad, but it's also like, i feel so jealous! I feel so WEIRD for having this, but my boyfriend's niece...who is...4..i'm jealous of too...just because of the attention he gives her, like he carries her, feeds her, plays with her, etc. Wow, a guy acting fatherly to his 4 yr old niece would be a turn on. I think that you are just realizing how much you miss him. You most likely feel that there is a hole left in your heart. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.