b/f guards cell like Fort Knox.....would you "?" w

[bloo4u]

I live with my b/f of 13 months. We were together about 4 years ago and have a 3 year old. Back then we broke up due to his friends constantly telling me that he was unfaithful to me with a married female friend of his. I tried not to believe them because he always stuck to the same story, that they just had their own agendas. It was somewhat convincing considering they weren't the most loyal of friends in other areas as well. I then became pregnant and the torment of always wondering if these rumors were true along with the insecurity of being pregnant was too much for me to deal with. So, I followed my instincts and left. Soon after, a overheard him talking at a mutual friend's house. He was BRAGGING about his "encounters" (with this same slut) in his car. And how stupid her husband was! I was sick!!!!! Not from pregnancy, but disgust with him! So....I had already left him, but that wasn't enough. I left our friends, left town, and even left state.

To make this a little shorter...I didn't have one word with him for 2 years. Unfortunately, neither did our daughter. I decided it was time to give him the option of knowing her and making her own opinion of him. Well, not long after we started talking we left the past in the past and decided to try again. That was 13 months ago.

Now, he has started talking to the same female in the past few months. At first I had no knowledge of it, until I caught him lying to me. He was talking to her for hours on the computer and telling me it was a friend, naming male friends of his or family members. Then I was sitting next to him and glanced over to find out it was HER! Right back to the past I was. After I asked him about it, he got angry and refused to talk to me at all. When things got better, I thought that was the end of it....NO! One morning while he was still sleeping, he got a text from her on his cell. It was something along the lines of..."Hi, good morning, just wanted to hear your voice hope I didn't get you in too much trouble last night. I can't wait to hear from you, I hope I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing" Do I need to say any more? Honestly, he claims there's nothing but "friendship" between them. Is that how normal "friends" in relationships with other people act? Now, he guards his cell phone like Fort Knox! When she calls, he leaves my presense, if he doesn't wait to call her back when he can do it in private. And he refuses talking to her when I know he is! I'm going crazy here! Please let me know if ANYONE thinks there are too many flashing neon signs here, If this was legitimately just conversing with a friend would it be in this manner that looks and acts so sneaky?!!!!

[B4RSK22B]

That is a very blatant disregard for you feelings. It is also a complete lack of respect on his part. He should be focusing on bettering his relationship with you and your daughter.

 

I would personally be angry. There is no reason for you to stay with him if he does not act like you three are a family. If this is the kind of guy he is, your daughter is better off not knowing him.

 

I would confront him, but be persistent with it. Don't let him get off easy.

[The Morrigan]

This might sound a little harsh but...

 

You are NOT owe it to him to trust his intentions with this woman after his track record. He should be trying to earn your trust and respect back - and it seems he's not looking at it that way. You aren't obligated to blindly trust him without him being more upfront, especially under the circumstances. This is not being unreasonably jealous on your part - he's given you reason himself to be wary of his relationship with this woman, he made his own problems there, and now it seems he's not willing to deal with it.

 

Frankly, I wouldn't be at all accepting of him being friends with her in your position - and wouldn't think THAT was being remotely unreasonable. I'm sure he'd just LOVE you being pals with someone you'd messed around with behind his back hmm? No hon, you're within your rights, and if he continues to be a jerk about it - I'd consider just how this relationship, and he, is going to treat you.

 

I know you want your daughter to know him - but she can do that without you dealing with his issues. We often stay together "for the kids," but consider this - when we do that, we're setting them an example of what to them will be a "normal and healthy" relationship. If this is something he's likely to continue doing - is this something you want your daughter to think she should find acceptable from a guy?

[Nifty_Swifty1]

You know what's going on, so don't pretend like you have any doubts. If you're looking for someone to tell you to leave the guy, then I will.

 

LEAVE THE GUY!!!

 

He has no respect for you. He's sitting back making fun of how you believe him just like he was this other girl's husband. Kick him to the curb and make sure you have the court order him to pay child support… that is if you don't mind, or still want him still seeing your little girl. If he pays child support he is legally entitled to visitation, so that's up to you. The guy is quite near the lowest kind of scum.

[bloo4u]

I needed to say "Thanx" I guess I was searching for confirmation that my feelings were justifiable! This whole situation is constantly deppressing me and his lack of support is like salt in the wound he created. He resents anyone or anything that brings me pleasure and I'm picking up my mutilated mess of a heart and moving on.....again! Thank you all for your support and opinions! -