cortezki Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I need some advise… I’ll keep this short and sweet… I have a “nice guy” personality and I don’t have game with women. Anyways... I admire this woman in my class and we know each other for months now. She has a boyfriend, who is a great person, which I converse with quite well. I respect their relationship and would not interfere with them whatsoever. But every time I see her, I can’t stop admiring/thinking about her because she is so beautiful and exotic to look at (ie. fashion, physical, facial, etc.). However, her personality is too innocent and conservative for me, but at the same time, I can see she has a wild side waiting to be unleashed… which makes her so irresistibly attractive. She sees me as a friend and I respect that, I too want to be just friends because I don’t want to be in a relationship and I have too much on my plate at the moment… BUT I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!!! Facts: - I can’t ignore her because we see each other everyday in class. - We are both TOO NICE to each other - We usually hang out with each other during breaks, but we have trouble starting and keeping a conversation. - It’s odd because I can talk to any woman and carry a good conversation but when talking to her, I can’t! I just freeze up and think too much on what I should say because of her innocent and conservative attitude. I want to impress her, which is a mistake (ie. showing off my so called skills, which comes off as egotistic and possibly arrogant), but I can’t help it! It just pops out! - She tries to generate a conversation, but the conversation doesn’t last long. I freeze up and act all NICE and NEEDY… damn it. - There are a lot of silent periods during the conversation. - I have a tendency to irritate her when I persuade her to accept the money in return when she treats me out… not only that, but I sometimes get controlling for no apparent reason with her, but with other people I am not. What the heck is going on with me? - I have VERY LOW SELF ESTEEM and am VERY INSECURE with myself, which makes me jealous when I “imagine” or “see” her conversing with other men, especially better looking men than me. But for some reason, I don’t care or mind if she mingles with her boyfriend. PS: I lack assertiveness and very submissive, so I usually give her straight answers when she asks… PS: I am putting on a good mask and I am suppressing feelings for her… which kinda sucks! There reason why the conversation dies much of the time is because on my mind I want to constantly impress her and be on her level, but I can’t and I feel much lower. Problem is, she is too conservative, which I am not whatsoever, I am tad more deviant than her since I say whatever I want to say at times I’m frustrated because the personality and attitude I’m showing to her is NOT THE REAL ME! I have much more humor and energy than that… but I can’t seem to release when she is with me. I do NOT have a controlling/possessive trait! I don't like to show off, I am very easy going guy... but I feel I am trying too hard and slipping and falling when I try... I am worried because I know she sees me as a nice (boring + needy) guy and I want to improve so badly to keep a good friendship. I have a tendency to ignore her because her beautiful face is very distracting to be just friends! What’s wrong with me and what should I do? We seem like we are not clicking as friends, but rather a forced consent to be friends, it sounds sad, but thats what I am feeling, which I blame myself for... I don't know why. ](*,) Link to comment
top bloke Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I know it will be hard but you must realise that you are not being in the moment with her due to your thoughts.You must find a way to realise that to make the relationship betterbthen you must focus on the moment more and clear all other thoughts..try your best. Link to comment
cortezki Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 What do you mean by that? Tell what I feel, man, if I do, she may not talk to me.. or see me different than before. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 point is man that she has a boyfriend so stop trying to impress her cause by trying to do all these things is almost the same intentions that you want to be with her. Just leave things be and since it is killing you how attracted you are to her why dont you try seperating yourself form her because eventually without even knowing it, you may very well try and sabatoge her relationship which is not cool at all. If a girl i like has a boyfriend, i leave things along cause whats the point on spending more time with or trying to impress that person when they are taken. Link to comment
vivisection-8 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I admire this woman in my class and we know each other for months now. She has a boyfriend, who is a great person, which I converse with quite well. I respect their relationship and would not interfere with them whatsoever. Actually, from the rest of your post, you don't respect their relationship at all. You're infatuated with her, make yourself look silly and out of character, and you are goading her to be promiscuous. If you respect the relationship, stop. Link to comment
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