Have faith in your decisions

[Mimori]

There have been a few posts on here today that made me feel the need to write another article. This time, about second-guessing your decisions, or even allowing another person to manipulate and control your actions.

 

It’s understandable and shows insecurity in yourself when you berate things you’ve done. Feeling guilty, unsure, wishing you can take back the things you’ve said, or even wishing you hadn’t broken up with someone.

 

You need to realize, you did what was best for you at that time.

 

Have the courage and the confidence to step up and defend yourself!

 

Don’t allow yourself to be sabotaged by another person who wants you to do what they want (manipulate you).

 

Being harsh on yourself and second guessing your actions (wondering what if…) is a vicious downward cycle that could land you into a horrible depression. The way you improve this is by having trust in yourself. By following your gut instinct and doing what you know is right.

 

We all have those moments where we wonder if we did the right thing… and sometimes we feel like we haven’t because everyone seemed to have been hurt by our choice(s). But you know what. Some of the hardest and most devastating things we have to do strive from being a little selfish. If we people please (which used to be one of my biggest problems), we end up ignoring our own needs and wants (which led me into a horrible depression and suicidal run). I realized then, once I left the hospital, that I needed to feel better about my choices and opinions. To stand strongly beside them and not let someone else adjust what I believed in.

 

It’s the same with religion. We can either agree on it or not. Either way, you shouldn’t allow someone else to TELL you what you believe in. By this I mean, don’t allow someone to play games with your head until you change your mind and begin to believe that they are right.

 

You have to forgive yourself and realize no one is perfect and no one knows what to do in all occasions. All we have is the freedom to decide what to believe in. If you allow someone else to control how and what you should do… what freedom do you have? Is that truly where you find happiness? There are some people who do find happiness in being told what to do… But I for one am not.

 

I’ve had guys tell me that I should date them because they were “so awesome” there conceding factor completely pointed out to me that they were wrong for me. Their ego was obviously too big. And funny enough I let them know just that. of course, they gave me the whole, well you’re wrong and you don’t know what your missing… Immature peer pressure that you would think you’d be done with once you left high school… but oh how wrong that thought was.

It’s by no means wrong to stand by your opinion and rationalize your decisions. And it’s not wrong to adjust your decision on some factors.

 

For example; it can be a rather annoying attribute to be so stubborn to believe you’re always right. But, if you can speak logically and rationally adjust your opinion… after you’ve heard something new, then that’s alright. I’m more then less referring to the situations where you belittle your opinion automatically.

 

Example: Let’s say you’re in a marriage. Children and all, you’re unhappy. Do you stay in sake of the children? The wife/husband is trying to tempt you into staying by receiving sympathy? –My father and mother have been married for over 30 years. I have three older sisters. My father knows my mum wants to leave, so lately he stopped taking care of his heath (doesn’t take his meds), wrote a note to what we should do with the insurance money if he happened to die… etc. He basically is using the sympathy card to keep my mum in a unhappy marriage. She can’t handle the depression and temper my dad has… I can’t blame her. I’m living with my parents at the moment, to be here for my mum. But it’s devastating to see how much pain it causes her to stay here…

 

I hate what it does to my mum. So I’m sure all of you can understand what pain and grief it causes the family knowing they’re unhappy…yet he uses his health and depression to keep her here. She feels guilty at the same time for planning to leave… but you can tell there’s a hope of relief in her eyes when she talks about it.

 

I believe in healthy debates. But I don’t believe in manipulating people to stay in an unhappy and unhealthy situation. Mind games that cause more grief then good, are so immature to me. If people would communicate and compromise with each other more often, there wouldn’t be so many problems with social behavior or attitudes.

 

Have faith in your actions.

 

Don’t second guess yourself so often you stress about what if you’re doing the right thing. You know if it's the right thing to do.

 

Stand by your opinion.

 

Don’t let anyone keep you in an unhappy situation… If you know someone is treating you wrong, leave them! There are millions of people in this world, and I can guarantee you that you’ll find someone who treats you better. I hate hearing about how people continue to be used and walked over because they’re afraid to step up or put their foot down.

 

You know when something isn’t working. Don’t just sit around and hope things will change, or that you can change them.

 

Granted, if you know what you did was wrong. Apologize. That’s the difference between being too stubborn about your opinion. We all overreact sometimes. We all need to learn to say sorry when we do the wrongs things, even to someone who hurt us…

 

Example I have an ex who left me because ultimately he didn’t feel the spark anymore. I overreacted to move on…and came back later to apologize for my behavior and explained to him that it was because I needed to do what I had to, to move on from him.

 

If you can rationalize your behavior (which most people can), and you feel alright with your decision and comfortable with the direction your life is taking, then your doing Great!

 

It’s great to allow people to give you advice and different opinions, but ultimately you need to be the one to decide where you want your life to end up.

 

Relax, breath, and allow yourself time to think before you act (don’t act on impulses…they’re usually bad choices hehe).

 

Just be sure it’s your opinion.

 

Example: My dads been pressuring since I was little to go into the air force, I considered it for awhile because I wanted to make him happy with me for once… but then I finally came to the realization, it’s not what I wanted to do… I hate the “control” the being told when to wake up, when to exercise, etc. I want the control of my life to be in my hands…To be able to take a few months off to travel to Europe or wherever else I wanted…

 

I live my life with the strength and courage I’m doing what’s best for my life. I love to help others, and I hate it when I have to cut people out of my life… but there are just some people who you don’t need to be apart of your life… It’s not anyone’s job to “babysit” your friends and ALWAYS be there for them… But you can be there for them some of the times… Just don’t allow yourself to be used… and don’t overreact. Try and solve a problem before leaving it…

 

I’m not saying to give up on people. But I’m saying, it’s not your responsibility to be their Psychiatrist, ride, etc.

 

Have faith, confidence and the courage to lead your life.

Good luck and I hope this helps someone out there.

[anggrace]

Great words of advice!!!! Thanks!

[Mimori]

No problem, I’m honestly surprised someone read it! Haha, I didn’t realize how long it had gotten till I posted it.

[Flashing Lites]

Wow..amazing words of advice

[ellandroader]

This is great, honestly. I copied and pasted this and filed it for reference in case you deleted the thread for any reason

 

Well done for writing it, and having such a good attitude towards it all.

[Mimori]

Thanks for the compliments-I really appreciate it. =]

[irish-gal]

Very good thread. Has given me some hope today that maybe i can be stronger. Thank you