Tigger6145 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 How long should you wait to request the person you are talking to/dating as a friend on Facebook? I was having a debate with my friend over this because she thought you should add them as soon as you can find them on Facebook, but another friend thought you should at least go on a date or two to make sure you like each other first. I am not really sure - I just kind of feel like you should go with the flow and add them when you think about it or feel like it. What are your thoughts? Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 please. this is so trivial. if they truly like you and you truly like them, does it matter? It could be a day into dating them, a month into it, or never at all. mainly because you're too busy actually seeing them and talking to them in person/over the phone to be concerned about whether or not you're facebooking with them too. is facebook overtaking peoples' common sense now too? Link to comment
MeLoveMe Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Who cares...I do it before I even meet them. No big deal. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I don't like to add them till I'm thinkin exclusive. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 please. this is so trivial. if they truly like you and you truly like them, does it matter? It could be a day into dating them, a month into it, or never at all. mainly because you're too busy actually seeing them and talking to them in person/over the phone to be concerned about whether or not you're facebooking with them too. is facebook overtaking peoples' common sense now too? It's not trivial. I talk about my life on Facebook. Some guy I just barely met doesn't need to be brought into my world. Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I don't like to add them till I'm thinkin exclusive. this is the right answer. why give them access to your notes, pictures, comments, and friends? my rule is never add anyone i am dating on facebook until we are exclusive or at least fairly steady dating each other. i never bring up facebook to any of my dates. Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 It's not trivial. I talk about my life on Facebook. Some guy I just barely met doesn't need to be brought into my world. Hahaa. umm yeah it is trivial unless you make it otherwise. Guess I'm just "old fashioned" Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Hahaa. umm yeah it is trivial unless you make it otherwise. Guess I'm just "old fashioned" facebook, online social networking, and technology are making dates and relationships more complex. these new factors have to be considered as they can have an effect relationships. *anything* can be considered trivial unless you make it otherwise. my new date's case of herpes can be trivial unless i make it otherwise... Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Hahaa. umm yeah it is trivial unless you make it otherwise. Guess I'm just "old fashioned" "old fashioned" how? because you don't post anything on facebook so you don't care who sees it? Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 "old fashioned" how? because you don't post anything on facebook so you don't care who sees it? facebook, online social networking, and technology are making dates and relationships more complex. these new factors have to be considered as they can have an effect relationships. *anything* can be considered trivial unless you make it otherwise. I'm sorry, I didn't realize everyone takes themselves so seriously and holds their facey spaceys in such high regard that the degree of their obsession with social networking ends up creating the same degree of relationship drama. Shocking how that works You create your own reality, hate to break it to ya. I use it sparingly nowadays. But the girls I've dated in the last few years have also had a myspace/facebook and even when it got serious, guess what!? It didn't matter because it's just a website. We wouldn't even get around to adding each other or if we did, we barely used it to communicate because guess what? We were too obsessed with real life interaction with each other. What a novel concept, huh? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I'm sorry, I didn't realize everyone takes themselves so seriously and holds their facey spaceys in such high regard that the degree of their obsession with social networking ends up creating the same degree of drama. The girls I've dated in the last few years have also had a myspace/facebook and even when it got serious, guess what!? It didn't even matter because it's just a website. We wouldn't even get around to adding each other or if we did, we never used it to communicate with each other because guess what? We were too obsessed with what went on in real life and not over the computer. What a novel concept nowadays, huh? no one said our whole lives are on facebook and myspace. the people i DO have on my friend's lists are people I know in real life, therefore I post about things going on in my life sometimes just to keep everyone updated. A guy I just met doesn't need to know what's going on in Scorpion fury land. Link to comment
RedWingsFan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I wouldn't add them until I feel comfortable letting them know more about my life. On Facebook, there are pictures of things I have attended, who I associate myself with, and other random tidbits. And Johnathan, quit hating on social networking sites. In one hour I rallied ten friends to a local event by simply posting the link and asking "does anybody want to attend?" I didn't make 20 phone calls or use 20 text messages. I was even able to provide the website link. Social networking can be useful - it's more than an outdated rolodex. Just because you don't use it, doesn't mean it's useless. Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I'm sorry, I didn't realize everyone takes themselves so seriously and holds their facey spaceys in such high regard that the degree of their obsession with social networking ends up creating the same degree of relationship drama. You create your own reality, hate to break it to ya. I use it sparingly nowadays. But the girls I've dated in the last few years have also had a myspace/facebook and even when it got serious, guess what!? It didn't matter because it's just a website. We wouldn't even get around to adding each other or if we did, we never used it to communicate with each other because guess what? We were too obsessed with real life interaction with each other. What a novel concept, huh? I don't really want to get into a huge debate about this but technology changes with the times. Facebook isn't a fantasy world, it is a form of communication. It makes us easy to keep up with our friend's lives and share our stories without having to talk to them everyday. The telephone was invented in 1876 and changed the way we communicated. Cellphones then became popular in the 1990s. Texting then started to spread like wildfire a decade later. .. and now twitter, and facebook are the newest dimension of communication. Its funny how you say 'real interaction' when you previously posted that real interaction is what you make of it, but yet mock people who communicate via facebook. The newer generation or those who choose to communicate this way shouldn't be mocked, its the new way- just like how 10 years from now there will be something different. The OP was never obsessed with facebook, he was just asking a simple question about how to proceed with a facebook dilemma. You choose to categorize people who use facebook as those who have no REAL interaction .. and I find that very judgmental and wrong. Why I just received an invitation on facebook for a party next weekend with so far 10 confirmed guests, hows that for REAL interaction? Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 A guy I just met doesn't need to know what's going on in Scorpion fury land. hey, you call the shot on that one. so go for it. i'm just saying that's a choice your making because YOU believe it matters...and so, it does matter for you. have yourself a ball. But it may not matter for someone else (like me) who is not wound up so freaking tight on the subject and just doesn't care and so it never becomes an issue to begin with. thats all. Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 . Its funny how you say 'real interaction' when you previously posted that real interaction is what you make of it, but yet mock people who communicate via facebook. The newer generation or those who choose to communicate this way shouldn't be mocked, its the new way- just like how 10 years from now there will be something different. The OP was never obsessed with facebook, he was just asking a simple question about how to proceed with a facebook dilemma. You choose to categorize people who use facebook as those who have no REAL interaction .. and I find that very judgmental and wrong. facebook isn't a fantasy world for anyone anywyere? you dont say? you think you can speak for every single user on earth? I never categorized everyone who uses it as fantasy-seeking losers. I said if you think adding the person you just started dating is an issue, then that's a choice YOU'RE making on YOUR own. That's a fact. Because there are many out there who simply don't care enough about that sort of thing. they, like me, think it's pointless and trivial, so it's not an issue. You make it one, so it is one. end of story. you know, Im starting to find it wrong that you want to get to know/date someone in real life, yet won't even include them in that "form of basic communication" as you call it. So by your logic, you also shouldn't use the phone to talk to them at first either. Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Why I just received an invitation on facebook for a party next weekend with so far 10 confirmed guests, hows that for REAL interaction? Yesterday I got an invitation in person for a b-day party next weekend with probably 4 dozen people. No computer OR phone. So don't lecture me about REAL interation. Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 please. this is so trivial. if they truly like you and you truly like them, does it matter? It could be a day into dating them, a month into it, or never at all. mainly because you're too busy actually seeing them and talking to them in person/over the phone to be concerned about whether or not you're facebooking with them too. is facebook overtaking peoples' common sense now too? Why are you so hostile to the OP and the other people responding to this thread? I have looked at your posting history, you have started many threads where people have responded compassionately and given you feedback, all while being positive and supportive. Why are you being so rude to other posters? Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Why are you so hostile to the OP and the other people responding to this thread? I have looked at your posting history, you have started many threads where people have responded compassionately and given you feedback, all while being positive and supportive. Why are you being so rude to other posters? lol i agree.. he is a very bitter person in general. sad but amusing. Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 flash, I think you're pretty sad too. But you don't care what I think just as I don't care what you think of me. Go right on telling yourself that this is exactly how I am in real life if that helps you feel high and mighty. Believe whatever you want to believe. I could care less, it's the internet. Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 flash, I think you're pretty sad too. But you don't care what I think just as I don't care what you think of me. Go right on telling yourself that this is exactly how I am in real life if that helps you feel high and mighty. Believe whatever you want to believe. keep going .... lol Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 keep going .... lol you can't even stay on topic in this thread because you know i'm right too. That's the best part Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 OP, do whatever you feel is best. If you post personal things on Facebook that you wouldn't want him to see, I would advise waiting a while. Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 you can't even stay on topic in this thread because you know i'm right too. That's the best part im not staying on topic because its obvious you're deadset on your opinions which is fine! keep going!!!!!! Link to comment
Johnathan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 keep going!!!!!! Lol. Good job derailing this thread buddy Link to comment
flash83 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Lol. Good job derailing this thread buddy lol thanks Link to comment
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