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Since the age of 7, I have felt different, I would lie in bed in girls clothes, pretending to be a girl, when I was 12 I ran away from home a moved in with a friend of the family, I told him how I felt, and the next day I became a girl, he bought me clothes, lingerie, make-up, and even a short hair wig, everything felt perfect, for a year I lived as a female, and even had sex with him, he treated me like a female, I walked, talked, and even carried myself as a female, I knew right then I was meant to be a female, I lived with him 2yrs as his girlfriend, then he was killed by a drunk driver, I was crushed, and stopped dressing up, I still wanted to be a girl, I moved back home, and my mothers bf found out my secret, and abused me, even prostituting me out, thankfully I'm free of any stds, but still struggle with wanting to be a female, I dream, and fantasize of being a lover of a man, and I want to be female more than anything, will anyone help me in becoming the female I deserve to be

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You probably know that you just can't go in get the surgery and be done with it. It is a long process with psych evaluations, role playing, hormone treatment, and finally surgery. Not everyone get accepted, depending on your psychological profile, I would say there probably are some other problems that might need to be worked out. Is there anything stopping you right now from living like a woman?

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what do you feel is the most important thing that needs to be sorted first?

reading your post i am concerned at your mothers bf behaviour to you.

is this ongoing? if so this would need to be addressed first.

countries differ in their attuide to sex change ops and the age etc that this op will be performed.

the world is a more sensible place then it used to be in that attuides to sex change are more tolerant.

are you in a safe place now,leaving aside the sex change part of this but not ignoring it.

your safety now is to me the more important aspect of this.

the time will come when you are master of your own destiny you must be safe until you are old enough to go your own way.

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How old are you now? Are you 14? Your safety is the main priority. Is there another adult who is trustworthy, and who won't take advantage of your vulnerability? Your mother's boyfriend is a danger to you, and you should be out of that situation, if you aren't already. Once you are safe, then you can address the issues of your identity. As you get older, you will find a lot of support in the transgender communities to help you take steps toward being who you are. But, in the meantime, there are other issues to handle, it sounds like. All the best.

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