Need a female perspective

[fontaine32]

I met this beautiful girl about a month ago. We got pretty hot and heavy right away. She showed lots of affection right away and it never faded. We were intimate after about a week and a half. One day out of the blue she says "I don't think we should see eachother anymore" We recently started text messaging eachother and refers to me as "sweety" and "baby". A couple of friends of mine and I went out to the restaurant she works at last night. I said "Hi, nice to see you" and started to walk away. She says "that's all you have to say to me". I then said, "nice to see you beautiful" I sat back down with my friends and she came to my table 3 more times. She then says" You came here and won't even talk to me" I wasn't ignoring her at all. I didn't really say anything. We had a little more small talk and I left. I care about her and want to start dating again. What next????? Some insight will be greatly appreciated...

[TrueHeart]

It sounds like to me that you both just need to sit down and talk things out one-on-one without distraction. Perhaps getting off on the hot-and-heavy foot was a little too fast for her. She got upset, and then said she didn't want to be with you-- then when you casually go to her job, and you are with your friends-- she thinks you're ignoring her.

 

Definitely need to sit down with her, maybe over a quiet dinner at home or whatever and discuss how you'd like to continue the relationship/friendship.... Atleast establish what both of you want from your relationship, set a pace and take the path thats most comfortable.

[Stefi]

I agree with TrueHeart, things probably got intense too fast for her. You said that she showed lots of affection, how did you respond to that? Were you affectionate as well? The way you describe her acting when you went to where she works, in my opinion, shows she probably expects you to act more like you are in a relationship with her and not just treat her like an acquaintance. At least, that's what it seems like since as you said, she refers to you using those terms. You should definitely discuss it with her and assure her that you care about her and want to start dating again.

[fontaine32]

Yes, I was affectionate as well. Here's the thing, we're not in a relationship so how do I act as if I'm in one. I wasn't rude or anything, we just talked about how she's doing and things like that. If she got scared, how do I go about her trusting that I won't pressure her? Thanx

[scaryhobo]

I'm not a female so this isn't a females perpective, but I figured I would give you my perpective anyway, since I've exerianced almost the exact same thing. I started seeing a girl once and things got pretty intence pretty fast, but after about a month she decided she didn't want to go out with me anymore. After that though, she still treated me like we were together and was very demanding of my attention. I just kinda played along and treated her like my pretend girlfriend, but after spending more time around her and seeing how she acted around other guys I realized she was just an attention whore. Not a real slut, but a slut for attention, you know what I mean? Anyway, I can't say that the girl you're talking about is like that but maybe you should pay attention to how she acts around other guys. If she's after everyones attention than she's just an attention whore, but if she only wants your attention then it probly means she likes you but doesn't know how to deal with it.

[fontaine32]

I really appreciate the advice, but am starting to think it's not worth the effort. When we were together she acted like a spoiled brat anyway. I actually told her that and she said i was the first guy to call her on her behavior. I think there are some deeper issues, but am too busy to play detective. I am going to leave it alone and move on with or without her.

[fontaine32]

Well, she asked me out. Should I go? Since she asked me I'm going to make her pay.