Am I still not over the relationship loss?

[sasha1982]

Hi there.. I left my ex-fiance in January.. we lived together, were together 2.5 years.. We moved really fast in the relationship, together 24/7, I moved in at 3 months, engaged at 5 months.. and shortly after things got pretty bad.. We fought alot, he consumed my whole life, he had major trust issues always getting angry if I went out with friends instead of him.. He always had ex-girlfriends in the picture messaging or calling, I caught him in lies.. He was incredibly controlling.. I became very unhappy and depressed after a year or so and tried to leave him at least 4-5 times.. Our relationship was completely toxic.. However, a large portion of the time we were very happy, we had amazing fun together, our personalities meshed always joking/laughing, great sex.. I feel we weren't necessarily that compatible, but we had a very intense emotional connection that I can't understand to this day because we had such a toxic relationship. In January when we had a final fight I tried to leave again and he got physically abusive and shoved me down.. That was what had me pack up and leave for good and never saw him again. I went to counseling for a month or so.. Grieved a great deal, couldn't stand dating new men and totally laid low for a few months and just worked on myself and my life again. I became really really happy again and started dating and enjoying life. I met a great guy we've been dating 3 months now, he so sweet and acts a way towards me that I don't remember my ex acting like at all... He's very intense and emotional.. tells me he loves me, says the sweetest things.. My ex-fiance was very "alpha" kind of male where as my new boyfriend is the kind of romantic guy girls dream about. My new boyfriend is physically way more attractive, has a better job, bigger house than my ex-fiance as well... Not that it matters, but I have totally found someone better on paper in all ways as well.

 

My issue is that I STILL to this day think about my ex, probably on a daily basis still. I haven't spoken to or seen him in about 6 months.. I know he is toxic for me, I would never even consider going back with him, I can talk about his flaws for hours on end and I can give you a ton of reasons why I deserve better.. Yet I still think about him?

What does this mean? I left the relationship very very angry and it kept me going and made me stay away. I am not angry anymore and even seeing a picture of him and his new GF doesn't make me jealous and "wish it was me"... I just still have thoughts of him in my mind... and remember good times.. why?

Is this normal?

[Esteller]

yes its normal. i still think about my ex time to time but it slowly diminish because of the woman im with now.. the reason i thought about her was prob because things could of worked out better or there maybe something that the ex did that u really like. but time let time take over and you will prob think less about it.

[KiNo]

left the relationship very very angry and it kept me going and made me stay away.

 

I'm not sure too, but I heard from a lot of people out there still thinking on their ex occasionally because of this too... you might not wanting him/her anymore, not being jealous over the new bf/gf, being so enjoying in your current life...but you just do, I do too...

 

A relationship is strong, be it good or bad... It proves that it will not fade as easy as normal memories... but it does fade away... Since now what is left for you is just those memory of him, you'll do fine... time~