I need advice for today...

[mikelopez]

I took the 12 question Marijuana Anonymous questionnaire and I answer yes to all which means I have a problem. Been smoking on / off since age 12, the last 3 years I been a chronic smoker. I am 21 now. My expectation at home have been: go to school do something with my life study anything; I received tutoring from my oldest sister with my classes, they tried to discipline me as best as possible, they bought me a car for school, laptop, my 2nd oldest sister even filled out my college application to get admitted into my university...Both of my older sisters are electrical engineers and b/c of them I want to be an engineer now... MY HISTORY: since a child I been stealing, lying, ditching school, getting in trouble in school, and had many ignorant friends... My Sisters took me out the ghetto brought me into a nice neighborhood to help me out and they are tired of my excuses of always relapsing and wasting there time especially my older sisters’ time who spent hours helping out with homework when she could have spent all those hours playing with her kids. But I realized the only reason my sisters still help me is because of my mother. When I am in the streets she gets sick, and that is the only reason why I believe that they still give me chances; without my mom they’ll let me drown or may try to help me but it might be to late; my mother is the glue to the family and while she is still alive is really my only hope to get my life straight. I realize I am not a kid anymore and I think I have a solution to my problem; counseling and detox. I am in the verge of maybe being kicked out of my university due to poor grades but I could always go to community college if that is the case; I get financial aid anyways. I want to take a break from school one semester off while I go to counseling; I plan to work on Saturdays, fix things around the house, help out with my sisters kids, do chores, and I plan on not going out since I will need family support, it’s only for about 3 months. But I honestly feel that it is just another excuse to waste my families’ time; I think they will think that…….So I am not sure If I should come clean to them like for the 1000 time and tell them I need help basically everything I just said.

[waveseer]

Right now you need to recover. What anyone else thinks about that isn't the real issue. Keep your priorities straight and your road will be much smoother.

[mikelopez]

Right now you need to recover. What anyone else thinks about that isn't the real issue. Keep your priorities straight and your road will be much smoother.

 

so should i do what i think is the solution?

[waveseer]

so should i do what i think is the solution?

 

A plan for your recovery. Not everyone is going to understand your addiction, but most people will see the difference if you have a detailed plan.

 

So, for the next 3-6 months you focus entirely on recovery. Then you can add back in the other areas of your life. Not everyone has this luxury, enjoy it. I remember being amazed at the people who recovered with small children, one woman had 5 kids under the age of 5.

[mikelopez]

so should i stay in school while i recover?

[waveseer]

Can you get incompletes or is it too late?

[mikelopez]

Can you get incompletes or is it too late?

 

too late i could try to talk to one professor to still pass one class but idk; theres a project presentation due on tuesday and i have not done my part; i was suppose to email my group on monday with my part and i still have not done it. so i might flunk two clases i have a 2.4 gpp and two f's might push it

[waveseer]

Well, worrying about it isn't going to change anything. Better to be solidly in recovery. Go ask the counseling office for an appointment, explain your educational situation and your recovery situation and ask for a mental health out. It's okay to do this once right at the beginning but after this, no more free passes.

[mikelopez]

Well, worrying about it isn't going to change anything. Better to be solidly in recovery. Go ask the counseling office for an appointment, explain your educational situation and your recovery situation and ask for a mental health out. It's okay to do this once right at the beginning but after this, no more free passes.

 

what do you mean?

[waveseer]

what do you mean?

 

When students have extenuating circumstances the school will make allowances. In other words, your grades might still suffer, but they won't kick you out. Tell the counselor that you are going to take a semester off to plant your feet firmly in recovery. The free pass thing is so you don't think you can screw up in school anytime in the future and pull the personal crisis card again (unless of course you are really having one).

[mikelopez]

When students have extenuating circumstances the school will make allowances. In other words, your grades might still suffer, but they won't kick you out. Tell the counselor that you are going to take a semester off to plant your feet firmly in recovery. The free pass thing is so you don't think you can screw up in school anytime in the future and pull the personal crisis card again (unless of course you are really having one).

 

well I think i may have used it; I lost my financial aid once bc of too many W's and I could take an absence leave that does not affect me up to one year and stuff is that what you mean?

[waveseer]

well I think i may have used it; I lost my financial aid once bc of too many W's and I could take an absence leave that does not affect me up to one year and stuff is that what you mean?

 

Nope, this is a whole new reason why they will give you special treatment.

[mikelopez]

do I talk to a counselor in my department? electrical engineering? or where exactly do I go I am a bit shy to seek this help.

[waveseer]

do I talk to a counselor in my department? electrical engineering? or where exactly do I go I am a bit shy to seek this help.

 

There are personal counselors employed full time (probably). You can look up the counseling office in your student directory (online?) and get the number. Call and make an appointment, the sooner the better.

[mikelopez]

I attend cal state LA they have student support office would that be it?

[mikelopez]

also its run by students who know me so it makes it weird

[waveseer]

I attend cal state LA they have student support office would that be it?

 

Close enough, tell them you need an appointment with a counselor and if they aren't the right office they will put you through.

[waveseer]

also its run by students who know me so it makes it weird

 

Oh, well they'll still know.

[mikelopez]

Oh, well they'll still know.

 

so I go to counceling, tell them I want to take a quarter off b/c I have a problem; tell them my situation and that I do not want to be kicked out; but wont that affect me down the line like for a job showing that I am not stable since they document everything?

[waveseer]

so I go to counceling, tell them I want to take a quarter off b/c I have a problem; tell them my situation and that I do not want to be kicked out; but wont that affect me down the line like for a job showing that I am not stable since they document everything?

 

It is confidential. Yes, that is what you do.

[mikelopez]

It is confidential. Yes, that is what you do.

 

ok I will make an oppointment; should i talk to my sisters first there both home right now?

[waveseer]

ok I will make an oppointment; should i talk to my sisters first there both home right now?

 

Is it their phone?

[mikelopez]

what do you mean? my question is if i should tell my sisters what i plan to do

[waveseer]

what do you mean? my question is if i should tell my sisters what i plan to do

 

I think it might be better to get the plan underway and then tell your whole family at the same time, so nobody can pick on your for it in private ahead of time.

[mikelopez]

I think it might be better to get the plan underway and then tell your whole family at the same time, so nobody can pick on your for it in private ahead of time.

 

so first make an oppointment with my counselor right; should i attempt to due the class project and present on tuesday. and talk to my professor to see if i could still pass the class?