Maybe I am losing my mind...

[pumpkinmoon]

Well as the title suggests, I'm pretty confused right now and just need a little bit of help with this issue. Actually, it's a few issues rolled into one but I will try to keep it as concise as possible.

 

 

A few weeks ago, I was in my BF's room and saw an invitation to a wedding. The envelope just had his name on it, so did the invitation. So I asked him about it, and he told me that gf's weren't allowed in the day as they can't afford it but can go to the evening party. That is completely fair enough. What bothered me at this point is that first of all he didn't mention it, I only knew about the wedding because I saw the invite. I also have a problem because it feels like he is always trying to keep me a separate part of his life, like I don't exist. Initially, this is what I thought also when I saw just his name on the invite, that he hadn't even told his mate he was with anyone.

 

During the same conversation, he asked me if I wanted to go to the evening party and I said no in a jokey kind of way, but partly because I was annoyed although I didn't want to cause any conlict.

 

So nothing was mentioned until the night before the wedding, when he text me very late saying that he had forgotten all about the wedding and that he had to rush out that night to buy something to wear. There was no mention of me going to the evening party at all so I got a little annoyed about that. I know I had already said no, but that was weeks ago and if it was me, I would ask again just to check if he wanted to come. I told him I was annoyed about it and he basically said it was my own fault for being childish at the time I saw the invitation. Then he said that I could go if I wanted but I would have to make my own way down there. This also annoyed me, it seemed like there was no consideration for me at all and that he didn't really want me there. That he just took care of himself and his own arrangements and didn't care about me at all so I didn't bother going. Like I said above, the main reason why the whole thing bothers me so much is that it just doesn't seem to bother him whether I am there or not. Its almost as if he wants to keep me hidden away so noone knows about me.

 

We have been back together now about 10 months and he still refuses to set his facebook status to anything other than "it's complicated" which really irritates me.

 

The day after the wedding I didn't want to continue to argue so we dropped it and things were fine.

 

Now tonight, I log into facebook and see him in a picture with a woman who I have never even seen or heard of before. Naturally I was curious so I asked him about it. He was ok at first, and just told me that it was one of his mates GF's and told me that if I had a problem with it then I'm being silly. He then started getting a little defensive so I dropped it and told him I would talk about it again.

 

Now I know there is no harm in having your picture taken with someone but there are a few reasons I have a few issues with it in this instance which are:

 

1, He has quite often had his picture taken with other girls when I have not been there.

 

2, The name of the mate who's girlfriend it is supposed to be is different from who she says she's in a relationship with on her profile.

 

3, I feel weird in a way as anyone who didn't know would think that he is free and single or even with her according to his facebook status. There are no pics of me on there and no link from his profile to mine. I also think that it makes me look like an idiot when all these pics are turning up on his profile and there are none of us there. Nothing to suggest that I exist or that he even has a GF at all.

 

4, If it is his mates GF, I don't see why she should have to have her picture taken just with my BF (there were just 2 of them in the pic and if I didn't know better it would seem as though they were a couple)

 

I know it all sounds rather nuts and trivial but it's not so much the picture, it's the fact that it feels like I don't exist, the fact that I should have been there and had my picture taken with him if he had made any effort at all to get me there.

 

 

Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far.

 

Any advice would be appreciated.

[anonguy77]

I feel that your sixth sense is pointing out that something may be afoot. Often we don't give ourselves enough credit and chalk it up to being paranoid but I think with the pics of this guy and other women, that is a red flag in and of itself. Why are there no pics of you two on his profile? Smells fishy.

[pumpkinmoon]

We never have any taken together. When we were together before he had pictures of me on there but took them off when we broke up and hasn't put them back on. I'm not saying anything went on with this woman at all but I'm trying to fathom whether I am overreacting about this whole thing or not. I just don't see the point of the photo, a group photo yes, but a pic of just them, no.

[nina2009]

Usually I do not like stories when one suspects another, however yours made me think that you are not crazy and your concerns are quite justified.

 

Your story makes me think that he has some complicated relationship/feelings with one of the girls among his friends. This girl is probably in relationship with someone else for some reasons, but they both have something going between them. I do not think it is sex, I think it some emotional or romantic connection.

Obviously this girl was supposed to be at the wedding. That is why he wanted to go there alone, but he didn't want to lie to you, so he exposed the invite but made it this way that almost every lady would refuse.

 

What makes me think he pre-set you to refuse, when you mentioned being upset before the wedding, he immediately blamed it on you (defensive behavior). And then one more time makes you to understand that you can go if you want but on your own. In a worse case scenario for him he would show up there alone and then you would show up but then he can tell that you are just a friend or something like that, nothing serious. The fact that you arrive alone proves it.

 

What i would do? The whole story would disappoint me. Definitely I wouldn't want that sort of relationship with anyone. This relationship is not honest, not genuine. I do not think confronting him would o anything good for you, I woul rather start slowly drift away.