To be a friend....or not to be a friend??

[VtecQueen]

Don't you just hate the saying "Let's just be friends"

 

Ok, so maybe I pushed the relationship issue too hard? He's not ready for a relationship and we had been spending ample amount of time together and on the phone, till 2-5am sometimes. I got extra confused by his actions, he'd kiss me all the time and we would watch movies wrapped up in eachothers arms. But....you don't want a relationship?? So I expressed my confusion, only to be told "let's just be friends"

 

Now things have dwindled down to us rarely talking anymore. He's not a big texter and the only time he calls now is when he has a missed call from me lol. His family is in town so I use that as my "female excuse" cuz you know we are full of excuses. It sucks, but there's nothing I can do right? Just accept it for what is is, and move on?

 

A part of me doesn't want to move on. I like him A LOT, but if he doesn't see the awesome person I am, I shouldn't waste my emotions on him. LOL easier said than done I'm afraid. I'm still giving excuses and I'm still calling him. I don't want to be his friend, it hurts to be his friend. He knows how I feel about him and he says "there's nothing he can do about it right now" because.....he doesn't want a relationship right now DUH lol

 

I'm being totally dumb arn't I?? What do you think I should do???

[BriarRose]

You are not dumb at all. But when they say "let's be friends", that is the kiss of death.

[RedWingsFan]

Yep, it sucks. We've been there. I'm not someone who can stick around as friends.

 

Find someone who cares about you back equally.

[BriarRose]

Yep, it sucks. We've been there. I'm not someone who can stick around as friends.

 

Find someone who cares about you back equally.

..

I agree. When they say they just want to be friends, I usually try to cut the cord at that point, as cold as that may sound.

[arcadefire]

Stop calling him. Stop cold turkey. The sooner you can do that, the faster you can move onto someone who WILL say, "I want you to be my girlfriend." This guy is not giving you what you need, what other signals do you need?

[Mustang]

I'm sorry to read that you're going through what you're going through. It sucks doesn't it? The same thing has just happened to me.

 

I am as confused as you - why people act interested one minute and then say they're not the next is annoying.

 

I encourage you to walk away. That's what I'm doing. Sometimes (and I'm not saying this is always true) but people often say "let's be friends" for THEM. To make themselves feel better for messing you around or to keep you as a "you never know" option for themselves.

 

As others have said here, your best bet is to walk away.

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you. A friend like that isn't someone I'd want to keep around, either. The guy knows how to reach you if he ever changes his mind--I wouldn't wait for that, and I certainly wouldn't call him anymore.

 

In your corner.

[strategos]

You can be friends, and still date a person. The difference is that you have to know that there is some romantic interestfrom the get go. If the feelings aren't there from the beginning then it's hard to cultivate them.

 

You should decrease your contact with him. Make him come to you. If he realizes what he is losing then he will come back. Otherwise, move on.