How to handle a breakup

[confused25]

I'm thinking about breaking up with someone I've been dating for almost a year . . . mainly because I don't think he has the qualities I am looking for in a long-term partner (potentially leading to marriage since I am almost 30). I've never actually been the dumper because all my previous relationships were broken up mutually. I'm a little bit nervous about his reaction to this. What is the best approach to let someone down gently?

[XxJustMexX]

Tell them the absolute truth. That's the best advice I can give you. Let them know truthfully what's in your heart and there will be less drama and problems afterwards.

 

To be more specific, sit him down and first, let him know it's not good news and prepare him. Then just let him know how you feel.

 

Is the problem something he can change? Or is there nothing he can do to stop it?

[ghost69]

i would just tell them it's time you went your separate ways because it's not working out. they just aren't the person for you. be honest. shows strong character.

[Casey13]

Dumping someone for the first time can be extremely difficult, at least it was for me. The best thing you can do is tell him decisively that you're not interested in the relationship anymore (be polite yet firm) and implement no contact. Also, you may get the urge to tell him that there may be potential for something in the future as this eases things quite a bit and makes the dumpee less hurt but this is a horrible mistake, trust me I know. It really depends on the type of person that he is but if he is the "I'm so in love with you type" the worst thing you can do is continue to communicate with him after you dump him. If he takes the break-up lightly and you still value him as a person/friend then you can give it a few weeks/months and continue the frienship.

[sarahN]

The most important part is to stick to your belief that it is over. He may obsessively try to talk you out of it. The second is to be kind and honest. You are doing him a favor by telling him the truth, nicely.