First date Topics to Avoid? Topics to talk about?

[Derek]

First date Topics to Avoid?

 

Some people think that things like politics and religion should be avoided?

What about talking about ex's or health issues or sexual positions?

 

I think there really isn't anything to avoid if the conversation is going really well... but maybe the games need to be played out first?

If the transition into talking about ex's happens, then perhaps you just don't dwell on it too long? What do you think?

 

What topics should you talk about? Whether they have baggage like kids or a divorce or an 11th toe? The weather? sports? drug and disease free?

 

What about the second date? After the ice is broken, are all bets off?

 

 

[abcd1234]

I dont think that talking about past relationships and sexual postitions is good for a first date, you should leave them until you know the person quite well and can judge how they would react to you bringing up those topics.

 

For the first date just find out about their interests and then build on that, talk about places you have been, what you do in your free time and maybe a bit about your job (but dont bore them, keep the focus on the other person).

 

The weather does kind of seem like a boring topic but if its unusual weather (heat/cold wave, tornados, storms etc) then by all means bring it up. Try to keep the conversation pleasant and dont drone on about stuff.

Sports and stuff are good if you are both interested in them but if the other person isnt interested then dont go too deep with it.

 

For a second date just aim to keep up the good impression you made in the first date!

[mahlina]

TOPICS TO AVOID

1. The Ex

2. Sexual History

3. Things that she might not find as interesting. Depends on the girl, I.E.- Pro-Wrestling, you know, guys' stuff. HOWEVER, if she's into guy's stuff, then that would be cool to talk about it too! Just make sure that she's not bored.

4. Don't talk about your profession too much, unless if your careers are similar, or you have something funny to say about it. I didn't really like listening about my ex's monotous job. His stories were just too dry for me. So, limit your conversations about what you do at work, and save it for later, when you guys date EXCLUSIVELY (So that she knows how your day went).

 

TOPICS TO DISCUSS

1. What you like to do on your free time.

2. Education, your career goals.

3. Favorite: music, foods, clothes, cars, books, movies, actors/actresses...

4. Places to hang out: dancing, the beach

5. Favorite hobbies.

6. Favorite ALL TIME shows, that you used to watch, "back in the days."

7. "Back in the days"- type of topics. Anything "Old School," to remince and reflect on the 'good ol' days!'

8. Perhaps, a 'tad bit' about politics. But it's just me. I often would like to see what the other person's stance on politics are, just a hint, so that I know that we have at least, share similar "values."

 

Whatever you choose to do, keep the conversations light, fun, and interesting. Joke a lot, and be clever. In otherwords, be whitty, but not obnoxious (IE- Putting others down, while trying to be, "manly," or shovenistic.)

 

It's IMPORTANT TO JUST BE YOU! If the date goes bad, then at least you'll know, "Oh Well, that's too bad we didn't click as well....Neither of our losses! But HEY, there are TONS of other people out there, who I can relate to!" Approach it like a "take it" or "leave it" kind of attitude! I like guys who can just be themselves, without trying to impress to hard. I like it when a guy can try to impress, by flirting, and all, but it's the little things that he says that I catch up to. I.E.- His opinions will tell me a lot. If he's not being true to his opinions, just for the sake of 'trying to impress', then, it's not as attractive as a guy who can just be blunt and be like,"Hey this is ME! This is HOW I AM. No Harm Done!"

 

I'd like to share an example with you, with what I mean about "Bringing Out Your Charm

I dated this guy, this one time, who brought up the subject of books. While we were eating at a restaurant, and he asked me what types of books I like to read, and then I asked him, and his response was: "Oh, you know, like the movie The Matrix, you know...outerspace...you know, those 'alien' books!" I was about to choke on my food. Clearly, he just proved to me, that he really was not a book person. Then I suggested, "Do you mean Sci-Fi books?" His response, "Yeah, yeah, those types of books. Yeah Sci-Fi!"

 

So, do you get what I mean? If reading was not truly of interest to him, then he should've say so, instead of 'trying' to impress.

 

If he could've said something like:

"I don't like to read as much, but was wondering...What kind of books do you like to read?"

And then, responded with an:

"Oh, that's cool! How interesting!"

 

I think that if he could've said something along those lines, then I really would've dug him! But, he just made himself look like a phony. I just wanted to hurl. So, that's what I mean about 'bringing out that charm,' in your personality. When a guy can be himself, and be comfortable with who he is, even if he sticks out like a sore thumb! I think that he's waaay more attractive than trying to be someone that he's not! It just makes them look more Confident! thereforeeee, more attractive. You want to make a successful "first impression," by just being you, and bringing out your charm, your own personality!

 

So, joke around, be yourself, share your stories and interests. Keep the conversations light. Be clever and whitty!

 

Good LucK!

Mahlina

[Derek]

good advice from Mahlina...