Why do i not want sex!!!!!!

[louiseblues]

I have been with my boyfriend now coming up to 3 years. I myself am 25 and my boyfriend is thirty. When we first met we had a very healthy sex life but in the last 12 months i dont want to know, i consentaly try to avoid him when he asks me for sex and i dont know why. He thinks i have someone else but i can truly say that i havent. There is one thing though i like to masterbate myself when he is not around. I love him very much and couldnt imagine my life without him, but i seriously need help because i dont want him to wonder off and find it else where.

 

Is there any suggestions out there or pills to help me get my sexual feeling back again.

 

Please help

[Mr. Good Man]

I would attempt to determine at what point did the sex stop being the way it used to be? You said 12 months ago it changed. What caused it to change? Whas it something he did or didn't do? Or, did you change how you view sex?

 

You obviously have the desire since you masturbate when he's not around. Maybe you don't desire him in that way anymore.

 

If you can identify what happened to cause you to not have sex with him you're halfway there. The next step would be to determine if you can bring back those wonderful feelings you had for him.

 

Hope I was helpful!

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Since you still say that you like masterbating I wouldn't say it's a physical thing. It's all a mential thing, so first let me ask you one question and you really need to think about it and give a true answer.

 

What is it that draws you to masterbation and not sex? There has to be a reasion that you enjoy one and not the other and you won't be able to answer your question unill you answer this one, and only you can do that. Now working it out from there is something that someone else may be able to help you.

[woobiegirl]

Hi louiseblues,

 

First, let's figure out "why" you are avoiding sex with your b/f, because you can only avoid it so long until it creates tension, which sounds like it is already since he's brought up that he has thoughts that there may be someone else. The first thing that comes to mind when our partner doesn't show us affection or initate love making is that they have lost interest in us or may have an interest in someone new. Your sending him mixed signals. Are you physically attracted to him?

 

Perscriptions can encumber sexual desire...(i.e. antidepressants, hormone replacement "although I see you are young", and many other perscriptions create "low sexual desire" as a side affect. If it's not related to perscriptions, then maybe you just need to bring some new & creative sparks to your intimacy. Change is good...go toy shopping together, watch a video together, plan surprise evenings for each other...a massage, candlelight, buble baths, ...play some imigination games...go out, pick each other up at a bar...sounds hokey I know, but it can be fun and adventurous....be naughty. Men like a naughty girl behind closed doors. My b/f plays games with me all the time, he's always full of surprises which keeps our love making very fun & exciting. Or...maybe your b/f needs to get more creative with you...if you have fantasies, try sharing them w/him....he'll probably enjoy it. Since you enjoy pleasing yourself and can reach an orgasm, you 2 may just need to spice things up a bit....have fun!!!

 

Now on another note which hopefully isn't you...I have known women who said they just got to the point where sex wasn't important anymore....they still loved their husband, but didn't care if they ever had sex again...however, it's normally it's at a older age...but I still think it could be an inbalance in hormones.

 

If it doesn't change, I would definitely call your doctor and ask him...it could be medical.

 

Good luck!!

Woobiegirl

[Hopingpraying]

Hmmm very interesting situation. If you like to masturbate I would say its not a hormone problem, but I think to get to the bottom of this we need to have some questions answered:

 

1. What makes masturbation fun?

 

2. Do you have an orgasm when you do decide to have sex with your BF?

 

3. Do you help your BF out by telling him what to do when in bed?

 

4. Are you attracted to your BF? I know you love him, but are you attracted too him?

 

5. Have you or you BF tried to use toys in bed?

 

Like Wobbie said you may need to just spice it up a bit. But if you are not attracted to him then you have to figure out why, or go your separate ways.