we split she cut me off and need advice bad

[upthecreek]

i was dating a girl for 6yrs she was very shy and no friends ,very little confidence and self worth but in all that she was sweet and just needed a friend.

i grew to love her very much and things were great for the first few yrs but she had problems which took its toll on our relationship! needless to say it was hard but i was determined it would get better and that i would need to stick by her no matter what. she eventually made a girl friend at work of the same age (29) and i was really happy for her as i felt it was a part of her life she needed. i was 30.

however in the 5th yr my ex after knowing this person for about 1 yr herself things became weird!

she stopped caling her and i found out my ex was getting grief from a teenager at work who picked on her and bullied her. and the teenager didnt like her friend as she always stuck up for my ex.

to cut a long story short the nice friend left her company my ex made friends with the not so nice teenager and she never rang her good friend again! you will have to take my word for the fact that i knew for a fact what the two people were like!

i didnt find out all this till months after it happenned when the nice friend called me to ask how my ex was!

the teenager set her up with another teenager at work and we split up seven months after she dumped her good friend! i was gutted!

even her mum admitted to me that she was bad news but they just let her get on with it...

needless to say our relationship became **** in the last seven months we always argued and the more i tried the more she rebelled, she started to lie to me, and when we split a few months later i found out she slept with 2 people in the previous 7 months! this was someone who wouldnt say boo to a goose!

the crazy bit was i still wanted her back - to me she had just been easily led and sooner or later she would realise that i was the only real friend she ever had....after all the things i helped her with, put up with for the greater good and then that!

we talked on the phone once a fornight on average for about ten months but most occasions she would add a bitchy comment i was so determined to be nice and have a nice conversation but it never happenned however when i said i wouldnt call her any more because of this she said "dont be silly i dont mind you calling!" etc - this was doing my head in!

it was a total character change from the day we split up!*she didnt send xmas cards or b day cards (we started dating on my birthday which didnt help) i did a lot of things just purely out of kindness for her family and her over the years but she would always say i suppose we will have to say thank you now!

i explained to her i didnt do these things for points , but just because i wanted too for them and her as i loved her, but she never believed me!

so i was a bit upset not to get a card from her family at least at xmas! she even told me she was deliberately nasty to me so i would tell her to sling her hook first!

 

so i gave up!

 

a month later she calls me to say she didnt want to lose me as friend!

 

mmm

 

i gave her the benefit of the doubt and called her a month later to see how she was getting on - to which i basically got

"ive got more important things on my mind i have a long list of friends and they are all weird and i was bottom of the list i dont want you as a friend anymore bye!"

for that month before i finally believed we would keep our friendship and i was really happy and was starting to move on and then that!

 

months later i found out her tennage b/f and g/f went off together! and she then went out with a guy of 40 who was sleeping with the 18 yr old g/f !

she was my best friend then all this!

 

one of my family died a couple of months later and i just needed a friend so i called her and she wouldlnt talk to me even after her dad "had a go" at her saying we had been friends for yrs...i was heartbroken, all relationships have probs but no matter what ....if one of my exes called me and said their family had died i couldnt just blank em...the past doesnt exist from that point you have to forgive and forget especially if the problems you had were never major and was just a breakdown over all!!..i was willing to forgive her after she slept with 2 people. but im finding it tough too now...

 

3 months later her family asked me for a favour to which i politely said i couldnt...my family couldnt believe the cheek.

 

1 yr later i called on her birthday but she hung up before i could get the words out and i never rung again! but i thought after leaving it and being over a 2yrs since we split surely enough time had passed to at least talk i suppose i just wanted to know why she was so uncaring...

 

i mean she hangs up on me and yet she was the one the messed up mostly!

 

my question to you guys after reading this is this...3 yrs later i have forgiven her and still miss her am i mad! i must say as far as the relationship was concerned i had faults as we all do but i really tried my family and friends think im better off without her and that she was selfish...i couldnt tell many people this story at the time as i was too gutted to be honest but i still find myself hoping she is ok and that one day she will be my friend and we can forgive each others faults and start again as friends!

 

i know im gonna get a bashing now as i did from my family but i need some outside opinions. thanks for listening!

[Iwanthim]

aww...wow after 6 years together and you were her only friend she wants to hurt you well maybe you should let it all and if she returns to you it was always meant to be. I mean for her to call you she still thinks about you....but i cant say whats really going on i only wish we can read men and women minds

[GeeCee]

Wow this really is a sad tale. Of course we are not going to blast you. You have shown kindness and consideration beyond belief and each time your ex has thrown it back in your face.

 

I really think that for your own sanity and peace of mind, you need to keep a distance from your ex. I know that you love her and miss her. But, really, she is very manipulative and selfish.

 

If you cannot stay away from her, adopt the no contact stragey. Get your own life and emotions sorted before you try and attempt to help her getting hers sorted.

 

Good luck.

 

G xx

[upthecreek]

thanks gee cee please see my new post which is bothering me at the moment i could do with your imput on this and thanks for replying to the last one and anyone who would like to comment its called "birthday card and no contact rule need advise" lol