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Is she not interested? Tips for 2nd Date

chiyork

By chiyork
in Dating Advice

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chiyork Apprentice

chiyork

Posted
Posted

I had a great date with this girl last Sunday. We had dinner at an Italian restaurant and stayed about three hours there. It was pouring outside so we sort of stuck there too. But we had a great chat...we both laughed a lot. I tried not to get too carried away, so I think it was a proper 1st date.

 

On Tuesday night I called her at 10pm and she was busy working. We talked for about 10 minutes and I asked her out again for this Sunday. She told me she would be very busy towards the weekend and was not sure if she would have time, but she never said absolutely no time. I told her I would call again on Friday.

 

On Thursday night I texted her during dinner time, guessing she must still be busy working. I just said I hoped her to be able to go home earlier and enjoy dinner. She did not reply.

 

Tonight (Friday) I called her at about 8:30. She never picked up and never called me back.

 

What do you think this is going? Is this clear sign that she is not interested? Well, it is possible that she works late, and possibly still working now. But if a girl is interested in going to the 2nd date, does she give this kinda of feedback?

 

Thanks for your tips. What should I do next?

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Johnty Rookie

Johnty

Posted
Posted

I haven't got much experience in the dating game. But it strikes me it could be one of three things:

 

1) She isn't interested.

2) She has read some cooked up dating game book that has told her to be hard to get

3) She is genuinely busy.

 

Either way i'd leave it till after this weekend, then make another couple of attempts to get in touch. If she still doesn't answer, just leave it. It says more about her than it does you in all honesty.

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Yarbles Newbie

Yarbles

Posted
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Don't overanalyze it. If you find you are falling faster and faster and her feelings are not reciprocating as fast as yours you need to make a move fast. Keep trying and keep calling her (obviously don't stalk her, and don't be a wussy) but be a little persistent.

 

An important thing is to not be afraid of rejection and to crash and burn. There's still a chance until she says she's not interested or ignores you continuously. After that, just move on my friend. No one deserves to be ignored and disrespected. It's not the type of girl you want to be with anyways.

 

If she wants to be just friends, just be non-chalante about it. Say it was a pleasure to meet you, and mean it. Give yourself a break and go for other women. And later when you've moved on to better things you can become friends. And who knows after that...

 

Good luck.

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

Posted
Posted
i am not interested if a man makes a date, and i decline without making another date. if i just say no, or i'm busy, i'm not interested.

 

Yeah, if I truly was busy, I'd set up a date for when I wasn't busy.

 

Or say something like "I'm busy, but I do really want to go out with you again. I'll call you" or something like that.

 

If she says she is "busy" but doesn't offer alternatives, not a good sign.

 

But, I wouldn't write her off completely. One more chance.

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oldenoughtoknow Apprentice

oldenoughtoknow

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This doesn't sound like it's off to a good start. I don't think you've been over-contacting her necessarily, but you said you'd call on Friday and then texted her on Thursday. That looks slightly needy.

 

I love the line I saw somewhere on an ENA post: "if you were Brad Pitt," do you think she would have been busy Sunday? Busy doesn't work for me. And if she is following some BS dating book, you're better off without her.

 

Did you leave a message today (Friday)? If so, the ball is in her court. I would get myself another first date with someone ASAP. Do you think she's "the one" after one date? I sure hope not. Right now, all of your eggs are in one basket. Find someone else to go out with and all of a sudden, this woman won't seem all that important. That will put you in the right frame of mind - reduce your neediness and increase your confidence.

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Mstamos Contributor

Mstamos

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Posted

I don't mean to be blunt but this sounds like she is not interested in going out again. I have had this happen many times. If she were interested she would say something along the lines of "Well I am busy that day but let's make definitle plans to go out this day instead." Either way, no one is THAT busy that they can't find an hour or 2 to go out with someone again for a date if they did enjoy themselves and wanted to see you again. Same thing with not contacting you back. If someone cares they aren't going to ignore you or forget to contact you back. Sorry man...

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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yeah, back in the day, after i read "The Rules," i would follow that practice and make a man really work to see me. including not listing alternate times i was available. i have since learned that is a really bad practice and the genuine good guys won't want to stalk you, so they move on, figuring you aren't interested. now, if i am interested, i'll say, "unfortunately, i'm busy that day, but saturday or sunday night work well for me." if i don't want to see the guy, then i either ditch his calls, or thank him for his interest, but tell him we're not a match.

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chiyork Apprentice

chiyork

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Thanks all for your tips. I am sure collective wisdom is better than an individual's. I will wait till tonight (Saturday) to see if she calls back. If not, I won't talk to her till next week. I am not trying to be too judgmental, but I do value courtesies of ladies in the beginning of dating. If someone just ignores you outright, in most cases it is probably not worth it to continue.

 

I feel the girl and I share many things in common, and that is why I called her in the first place. I am seriously looking for a girl friend for the purpose of marriage, so I need to be cautious not to just blow it by doing stupid things.

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