BEWARE - of the metaphorical hole

[JohnnyBlog]

Thought I would post to confirm the inevitable. It DOES get easier after time.

 

I always like to hear how people are recovering and thought I would just update on my own progress. Its funny how you reflect and realize how far you have come. I look back and can see myself down in that dark hole 5 months ago. I didn't know which way was up. I was so disorientated and thought there was no way out. But, after time passes, perspective is gained, you've stopped spinning and can pinpoint the light at the end of the tunnel. The world slowly becomes brighter and brighter until you realize your almost out.

 

Those setbacks and memories become few and far between, they drag you back but in smaller and smaller increments each time until you merely shrug them off. Your Ex's whereabouts and life becomes less important and your focus has shifted to something far more worthwhile, yourself.

 

As difficult as its been (and i'm not 100 per cent.) what I have learnt and what I feel helped the most is this. I know its all been said before but I didn't believe it would work, it did.

 

LISTEN TO THE ADVICE

 

NO FACEBOOK/MYSPACE FRIENDS WITH EX

 

NO LOOKING AT PHOTOS

 

NO ACTING NEEDY (if your have to tell your ex something do it when in a position of self assurance and with a level head)

 

NO CONTACT (unless you feel you are in an emotionally stable position where you can take whatever the outcome)

 

I think once your out of the metaphorical hole, you kinda leave the desire and 'need' for the ex at the bottom. Just do whatever you need to stay out of it!

[Mishmash]

Thanks for this post, Johnny. Great perspective and advice. I can relate with what you wrote, especially about spinning and seeing the pinpoint of light.

My only crutch is that darn internet site of his - too weak and curious to totally stay away. I suppose in time that will fade away and I won't care anymore.

[John Bendix]

Thanks for this post, Johnny. Great perspective and advice. I can relate with what you wrote, especially about spinning and seeing the pinpoint of light.

My only crutch is that darn internet site of his - too weak and curious to totally stay away. I suppose in time that will fade away and I won't care anymore.

 

Hi Mishmash-

 

I agree. I used to pace the floor trying to figure a way out of my dilema. I realized that the solution was not in what I needed to do but how I perceived what my present situation was at the time. aThe cause of my suffering was not my circumstances but my reactions to them.

[tujna]

Thank you for the sound advice, Johnny.

 

I would give everything for what you are saying to happen to me. 3 months separated as of now, most of NC has been for a month but he keeps calling me for this and that but is not willing to work it out.

 

I am very tired of suffering and I think I am reaching the tipping point where you just want to feel better and don't care how. So far I thought that if the love is real you shouldn't give up on it easily but this is too hard to bear. I don't know how long I can go on like that.

 

I just wish I am able to say your words in 2 months. I pray to God for that.

[jennamajig]

 

Those setbacks and memories become few and far between, they drag you back but in smaller and smaller increments each time until you merely shrug them off. Your Ex's whereabouts and life becomes less important and your focus has shifted to something far more worthwhile, yourself.

 

 

This is very true and the only thing that gets to this point is the passage of time.

 

It's been 9 months for me and I have no clue what my ex is up because of strict NC that neither of us break. And you know what? I don't care. I've got enough going on with me to focus on what may or may not be happening with him. Sure, memories can still sting, but far less than they did months previous. And as more time passes, even the tiny wounds will finally heal.

 

Glad to hear you are doing well after 5 months, Johnny.