So the ex is gonna email 2morrow, should I reply

[SLBG]

Ok,

 

So I don't no if u have been following my posts but I have been split up from my ex fiancée for 6 weeks.

 

I started no contact 3 weeks ago and on Friday I accidentally sent her a blank email (don't ask u wouldn't b able to do it if u tried)

 

So she immediately replies to the email, just saying hi, take it ur email is working, how have u been.

 

Sorry forgot to mention, I set up an auto response saying I couldn't access my email, didn't give any reasons.

 

She emailed me about 2 weeks ago and must of got the auto response. I didn't reply 2 weeks ago, wanted her to get curious and initiate contact herself.

 

Well, when I get this email Friday I think to myself should I reply? So I send back a mail saying:

 

Hi, yes I am now able to access my email

 

Slbg

 

Bang, she replies back within 5 mins, again she is asking how I am, how are my family and what I have been up to.

 

I then decided enough is enough and did not reply to this email (I promise)

 

Again within 15mins she has sent me another email. Saying:

 

I'm off now so I will email you on Monday for a proper chat!

 

Hope you have a good weekend! I'm off to get drunk!!!!!!

 

 

(Here name) x

 

She can only email from work, she does not have Internet at home. Well I'm kinda pleased as she put a kiss by her name or was that just an X ???? I don't know, not reading any thing in to that LOL.

 

Found it strange why she had to tell me she was off getting drunk, did she want me to react? Or just annoy me?

 

Well then, she is going to contact 2morrow, probably just to find out what I have been doing. I don't think she is gonna tell me she has missed me or nothing like that.

 

So, what do u think ppl. Should I reply to her email/s, just saying yeah I'm ok, or should I ignore her?

 

I've really looked forward to her emailing me Monday, but I don't want her to no that, I don't think she has been looking forward to it. If she wanted to talk, why couldn't we talk over the weekend?

 

Oh sorry, I didn't realize, she's far to busy at the weekend to speak to me. She's got a social life now, the weekend is all about going out and getting drunk (sorry just got a bit angry there)

 

I am angry that she only wants to no me during the week, she doesn't need me at the weekends or out of work hours.

 

I no what ur all gonna say, she using me. What I don't understand is why is she using me.

 

She left me, her decision, sounds like she wants me but doesn't want me.

 

I'm not a toy, I have feeling. Do u think I should tell her to stop treating me like rubbish. Or just ignore her.

 

I'm fed up with all these games.

 

slbg

[Celadon]

Hi SLBG -- I haven't been following all your posts, but I did read a bit about your breakup in your advice to me earlier. It sounds like you've had a painful time. Sorry to hear that.

 

Seems like contact with your ex-fiancee is still not a good idea. Her little comment about getting drunk made you mad, and you don't need to feel mad right now -- you need to recover and feel better.

 

Since I don't know her, I can't tell if her comment was just an attempt at being funny, or a barb to say "see what I'm doing now"? Maybe, it could be both. People are complicated.

 

Anyway -- since she was so quick to respond, I don't think you'd have a problem getting in touch in the future. Although you don't feel like it, just be nice and brief with her now. Because that way, you still *could* be friends in the future. If you haul off on her now, you shoot your chances for later.

 

You may feel like you want some justice or to tell you how mad you feel, but sometimes it's just better to take comfort in setting firm boundaries and knowing you are not going to be pushed around.

[Beec]

SLBG,

 

I think the first thing you need to do is figure out what you really want. Then think about how to get it.

 

If you want your ex back, you need to lose your anger. If you want to be angry at her, you won't get much out of being angry. If you are just hurt and need to keep away, then do that.

 

What you really want is the first question.

[GeeCee]

SLBG

 

I totally agree with K8tie Kool. Now is not the time to think about your desires, if you want her back. If you do want her back, you have got to stay cool and calm, and so email could be a good way to communiate with her. If she calls, only take her call if you can remain unemotional. Allow her to do most of the talking, and when you are required to do not talk about the relationship. Suggest that you have been very busy, and life is treating you well, you were out with friends at the weekend and had a good time - no need to talk of drunken exesses. She has that one covered.

 

If she tells you anything that you think is done to wind you up, quickly move the conversation forward. Be sure that you are the one to end the conversation. Gee, is that the time, must rush, I am playing tennis in 10 (or whatever it is you play!!).

 

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

 

G xx

[SLBG]

Thanks everyone for your advice.

 

I'm not angry, was just venting a bit.

 

I do have mixed emotions, I love her but don't know if I could handle getting back with her.

 

It's a strange set of emotions I no, Im in two minds.

 

I'm gonna have to play it by ear. I don't even no if she will email me 2morrow. If she doesn't I wont initiate communication.

 

If she does email me, I'm gonna let her do the talking. Will be vague about what ive been doing but let her no I have not been sitting about all weekend alone.

 

I don't want to make her jealous, I don't need to tell her I've been out meeting girls or getting drunk. What would that achieve.

 

She wants to play games and tell me she been out all weekend getting drunk. I've been there, seen it and got the T-shirt. I don't have to go out all the time getting drunk, I found enotalone.

 

She's running away from her problems, drinking and smoking. But the problems will not go away.

 

Thanks every body.

 

Slbg

 

p.s GeeCee, I'm from the UK and so yes its tennis I play too.