why is it still like this

[Neo7]

Any input or suggestions are welcome please reply! But I just need to write all this out. Like I mentioned before this board is like my therapy.

 

How can you still hold such strong feelings for one woman over a year and a half after you split up? I'm not at the breaking up point where its all dreery and dark. I'm actually pretty happy seriously! but its just like a thorn in my side. I don't miss the relationship as much as I just miss her. Everything, her look, the way she scrunched up her nose, her stubborness. Crazy stuff man. I hung out with her lastnight and all of our mutual friends so I think thats where all this is coming from.

 

We talked some, she mentioned things when we were together. The funny stuff, the good stuff, it was good to reminisce. She was sweet.

 

Its so hard to get closure. I've seen other girls and am currently seeing one. But it all goes back to her as far as my heart is concerned. Is this normal after this long? Are these feelings still evident and this strong b/c she's the one I want? Will all this go away when I find love again? I never want to forget what we had but this every so often feeling of emptiness gets to me.

 

I made her this great CD last week and sent it to her. She loved it called me and left me the sweetest message her voice was the way it used to sound. I know the love is still there between us but it just doesn't work.

[jujigatame]

You obviously still see something special in her - that's why you hooked up in the first place, right? You miss that special thing that she brought to your life. Basically, if you go through an amicable breakup with someone, you're going to have that voice in the back of your mind telling you to get back what once was in your hands. Married people still have thoughts like that, even after ten, twenty, fifty years together. It sounds like you're acknowledging those thoughts without obsessing over them.

 

No lover can offer you _everything_. Thus, when you find yourself with another woman in the future, as you inevitably will, a woman with loads of special things that you positively adore, there'll always be that one little feature that your old flame gave you that nobody else can.

 

We'll all have to deal with it.

[zippitt]

Neo, you need to let go. In my opinion the reason this is so hard for you is because you still see her. You never really let go, you still hope the two of you will end up together. You need to learn to love other people, and you can. But as long as you hang around her your just toying with your mind. Give yourself A LOT of time from her. There will come a point where you can be her friend and not have those same desires for her. It's not easy but it can be done. It took me about 2 years to get over one of my ex's. I am friends with her now and I am having problems getting over my new ex. Don't worry though, you can and will love someone else. And you never forget about your loves, or anyone you have loved for that matter. Give yourself and the girl you are with the respect, either tell yourself there is no way you and your ex will want to be together or cut off ties for a while. Remember you can have just as many good times, even better with someone new.