I shouldn't have gone back into old emails

[rebelfac]

It is tempting to forward some old ( 1 and 2 years ago) emails of her loving feelings I just read that she sent to her but I know I will look like a psyco. It just seems that she had to erase these memories to be more ok with her decision of leaving me. She also now has to make me the villain to clear her conscience and relieve her guilt. It is just so hard to see so many of her affectionate emails and know they go back 14 years but now she can care less about me 8 months after the split. It doesn't seem like the honeymoon is going to wear off for her anytime soon and I also think she is now pregnant. ( and we aren't even divorced yet) I am not sure how to react to her pregnancy but I think she is embarrased to tell me and I am not exactly happy for her. Sorry just venting tonight.

[Xplode]

i wouldnt be doing that. i understand ur hurting, nothing will change that. your struggle now is with yourself. find yourself to make sure you can be happy on your own. she gave nor took anything away from your person.

define yourself, as an individual that needs not the attention and respect of her to validate you.

 

and on a similar note dont think she doesnt give a crap, just because u dont hear it. i only recently found out after my ex leaving me because she didnt want to "waste her youth", that she still thinks about me all the time, but would never talk about it to anyone (cept one friend, i was just friend with them lol).

 

shes not going to run up to u and say i miss u sometime, ok cya thanks for letting me tell you that? she is going to want you to feel like she doesnt care... you should be doing the same.

 

Take care..

X-

[Samedy]

I did that once. A couple years back. I had erased them, but had to restore my emails through a backup, which resurrected the old emails.

 

I know re-reading the emails set me back a bit. But it did help me put some perspective on how I reacted to everything, and what NOT to do next time.

[rebelfac]

Thanks so much, great advice

 

She mentioned how overwhelming her feelings were that I was her soulmate. "find yourself to make sure you can be happy on your own. she gave nor took anything away from your person.

define yourself, as an individual that needs not the attention and respect of her to validate you."

 

Outstanding advice!

[Xplode]

mate, im only 21yrs old. i have been in 2 x 2yr relationships and then i realised, i only feel worth while. when im with someone my soul goal in life was to feel loved by someone else.

 

I am on the way to being the entire cake, a partner will only be the icing to my already whole/completed cake.

 

just dont do anything rash, be the best possible version of yourself you can be. she should not have any bearing on that.. only you can be that person.

[Coyote9]

There's a lot of power in old e-mails...I know that I deleted all of hers as soon as she broke up with me (by e-mail..lol) 2 months ago. What I didn't delete is stuff I've written to her, which of course still has her responses attached to them. I reread her breakup e-mail here for the first time in about 6 weeks this morning...it was more painful this time, as I was more objective and could see her point in ending it from her point for view...I was so distressed that I broke NC and dialed up her number...knowing of course she wouldn't answer. But it really set me back. So, best to not read that stuff and if you can't bear to not have it, print it out and put it in the bottom or a drawer someplace before deleting it off of your computer. In this electronic age, it's easy to freeze frame our memories with our ex's, and convince ourselves that somehow the past must be as present for them as it is for us...the fact is, it's not. I feel for the struggle you're going through and all I can say is try to be strong...I feel terrible about breaking NC but it was a reality check that perhaps I needed today.

Coyote