divz21 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 everyone, this is my first time posting a message about my personal life.. but here goes.. i have been going out with this guy for 4 years and in the 3rd year i cheated on him with my best mate.. just that me and the bf were having troubles and i always used to speak to my best mate about everything since a young age..but we got really close. The bf forgave me and still wanted to be with me, at that time my gran passed away and well..after that he still wanted to be with me but then a few months down the line i spoke to my best mate and we were chilling and catching up with eachother.. but then the bf found out and broke up with me.. which i thought was fair.. i know i made A HUGE mistake and its been 3 months apart... but yet he still wants to be with me in the future...i do love him now more than ever and i wouldnt make the same mistake again.. but he told me he wants to get back together in june after his uni exams are over. But then afterwards he said he wants to wait for results and sort his life out... i told him i couldn't wait anymore and i couldnt take it simply because he raised my hopes by telling me that there was something important he had to say to me yesterdayand needed to be face to face.. and i assumed we was going to get back together... and it wasnt that but a good feeling and how he was looking forward to a future with me...i have now lost hope completely... i know he is not messing around because he has told his parents and he wouldnt lie to his parents and bring up their hopes because they love me very much and treat me like a daughter... But to be honest i decided i am not going to wait and try and get on with things but now i feel i have let him down and myself down i have lost hope.. and i have no idea what to do... i love him so much and i really want to be with him... its hard to explain...but thats all i can say... i really need help im on the verge of breaking down... Link to comment
Circe Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I wonder if a part of him is doing this as some sort of punishment? Or maybe he is just confused and doesn't know how to let go. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I would give him space. Seems like he doesn't know what he wants. It's hard for him to trust you. If he likes you he will call wanting to be with you. If not it wasn't ment to be. Link to comment
dan10 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 i think you should tell him that you still love him but you arent going to sit around while he plays these games with you. if he wants to be with you he needs to be a man and do it. if he doesnt want to then he needs to stop stringing you along. and if he doesnt know what he wants then let him know you still love him, but you arent putting your life on hold. so you will go out with other guys and if he happens to decide that he wants to be with you and you happen to be single then you'll see what happens. but dont wait around for him while he is playing these games Link to comment
Casey13 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 When you say you cant wait, what exactly do you mean by that? Do you have someone else lined up or are you in desparate need to be with someone for the next few months. In all fairness, you guys were together for a long time and you did cheat on him so if you care about him and he has plans to be with you I would just wait it out until he gets his exam results back which is a couple of months I assume. If he then starts postponing things I would at that time consider walking away. Link to comment
divz21 Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 Thanks everyone for replying so quickly, results i found out are next week... doesn't help that we go to the same university... but also i am not really worried about my results, im in my 2nd year and I am in a position while its his final year so i do understand.. but then again he has never been a fan of education and actually hates it so i dont know if its just an excuse or he is testing me. i mean im going to try my best and keep thinking positive...he just keeps telling me to trust him and that we will be together...what i mean by waiting is putting my life on hold and not doing anything that will upset him...but i cant wait like that obviously im going to try my best not to upset him but im feeling very down right now.. thats it.. Link to comment
gjeta Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 hi yes ur bf has lost the trust on you. am not 100% if it will work but hear me out i was in a 3 and half years relationship i did think she was sexy but she didn't turn me on i had to use my imagination if u know what i mean. for months and months i waned to get rid of her finally we had a big fight and she moved on a month after now its been 3 months she really showing me no attention she so uninterested in me and now that i know i can have her no matter what she turns me on so bad and i fantasize bout her in bed with me yet when i had i worn bothered thats what u need to do make him think he cant have you make him feel that u dont need him but at the same time rub it on face bout ur bf (thats what my ex is doing to me now i am sooooo attracted and want her now lol) make ur self unreachable to him (men always WANT what what they cant have more then women) Link to comment
divz21 Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 He has infact said to me he trusts me so that aint a problem he just said that he wants to sort out his life after results thats it..he constantly tells me he loves me and we see eachother quite often and his parents treat me like their own daughter..we do things that couples normally do when we are alone together.. but infront of everyone else we are single people.. thats really whats happening...i dont know if thats right but we both do really love and care for eachother.. its very confusing i know... Link to comment
divz21 Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 gjeta that is really hard to do.. im a compassionate person and i dont want to be with anyone else but him and he knows that..he gets upset if i dont text/sms him back even after an hour he has tried to contact me... he will call my mobile and even in extreme cases call my house or my siblings mobiles just to find out where i am.. Link to comment
divz21 Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 Even texts saying... i have tried to contact you but you dont seem to be getting back to me..just wanted to see how you are?.. minor nevermind chat to you whenever bye Link to comment
divz21 Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 how would anyone respond to that and all the above i have said.. what would you do if you were in my position.. any advice is fine.. Many Thanks Link to comment
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