for all u guys that hav been followin my story-its over

[jackie1982]

hi guys for all those that hav been givin me advice,iv done it,iv cut the ties.he wernt makin any effort to b friends,i was doin well,i didnt contact him for a few days,but then he came on msn and i made the mistake of makin the contact and sayin hi,and he wernt really sayin much and i was startin to punch myself for sayin hi.i asked him if he missed me and he said abit yer,i said abit?and he said i miss the closeness...not even sayin he missed me!i felt so shit and was back to square 1.so afterwards i txt him sayin "i dont think we should hav contact nemore,because its hurtin me 2much i still love u and wanna with u,and u need time to sort ur head out" (was that a bad message?)and he just replied with ok if u think thats for the best.he wernt even bothered!!!!!!!i feel so so like poo now guys, i rekon im gonna end up regrettin this cos he was so special, and i liked him so much.mayb when iv done my exams and finished uni in the summer i could call him see how hes goin?why do i feel like i regret this already guys help!!!

[bzborow1]

see guys...when she breaks up with you the best thing to say is, "ok...see you around".

 

To your post. You'll be fine, just give it some time. Remember that this is the actually breakup for you. It seems that you kept talking to him hoping he'd come back...so for you, this is sort of the actual end to the relationship...and yes, it's hard....and yes, it will take time....and yes, you will find someone else who's right for you!

[vfunkera]

hello jackie,

 

Your explanation there reminds of my first major break up almost 9 months ago. I went on msn consistently after she, the girl i wanted to spend my life with, broke it up with me, and did exactly what you were doing. Wondering to myself, why is she so quiet? Why ain't she chatting to me like she used to. How could she just forget me like that and hang out with other people. You know it took me 4 months to realise that i can't keep chasing her- even if im not talking to her anymore- im still following her and trying to see where she is and what shes doing.

 

Im going to tell you from the experience of someone who has been where you are and done what you are doing; stop calling him AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Someone who behaves like that has already forgotten about you and is probably into someone else. Do not make contact anymore, because you are probably annoying him. Do not call anymore, even after your exams because you will feel as bad as you today, and also because he has your number as well, and its only fair that he calls you and not for it to be only one-sided communication.

 

The moment you start letting go of the past, you begin to place it in the past and regret what happened between you two less and less. As scary as it is at the moment to do such a thing, the sooner you do it the better, trust me on that jackie. Now is a time to stay busy, focus all your undivided attention on yourself, and gain real independance and wisdom by learning from the mistakes you made in that relationship, and possibly more. The people who are successful in relationships, as well as life in general, learn from their pain, use it as a growing experience, and move forward.

 

It is up to him to comeback now and you need to accept that. You gave it your all in the relationship trust me. You did the best you could, but it wasn't enough and weren't meant to be. Do not regret anything. Do you know the two things i regret when i look back at that break up? Not finding this website while i was in the relationship, and not operating no contact on the very day she broke up with me. In other words, i regret chasing her for 4 months, i regret swallowing my pride and self respect for her, and making such a fool of myself while wasting 4 months of my life at the same time.

 

He decided to walk away from you, and unfortunately only he can walk back. All you can do is continue to grow, and you won't grow if you stand in one place.

 

Good luck Jackie

[jackie1982]

if he really cared,he wouldnt hav just gone ok?cos if he cared he wouldnt wanna lose me?

[jackie1982]

mayb by me sayin no contact, he mite actually not come bk,even although he mite want to? deep down all along iv been wantin him to come bk to me in time. hes not a guy to fight for somethin,when we had arguments even if it was him that had upset me it ended up bein me that was doin the effort to make things up. hes just not the type of guy to fight for somethin,but to run away and hide...every1 has their faults hey. this hurts like hell, i cant get him out of my head and im scared iv just lost the chance to b friends and mayb end up bein more again.as he has problems too.i cant stop thinkin about it and the more i think about it the more im beginnin to regret it? i know everything uv said there is right, but i just cant find the strength. i just keep thinkin if only i stayed on the scene then he wont b gettin over me so quickly and mayb start again. every situation is different right? all thro my life men hav just hurt me, my last serious boyfriend slept with my best mate aswell as gettin his ex pregnant, and i was so happy to finally find sm1 that actually loved me for me and treated me so well, i dont understand why it had to go wrong,i loved him soooooo much!i know even of he wanted to,he wont b makin contact now,wot if iv blown my chance.im still regrettin......i feel so stupid

[S4il]

if he really cared,he wouldnt hav just gone ok?cos if he cared he wouldn't wanna lose me

 

I see it like this Jackie, since you told him that he needed to get his head clear, it probably came more as a SHOCK, than anything, now he is wondering why your said it, and how your could say it after you just said you loved him, and all that other stuff, any guy would say something like "ok if that is how you want things to be" out of defense, to make it seem as though he wasn't effected by what you had just told him.

 

 

He even told you he misses the Closeness between you 2...HELLO ! isn't that dropping a hint, over your head..or below your feet, it's obvious to me he was just saying what need to be said because he didn't want you to think he still had feelings for you.

[shazza]

I think unfortunately the more you contact him the less chance you have of getting him back....you said yourself, he's not a fighter so its likely that he succumbs to pressure easily or runs away from things...either way, such an outcome would not be good for either of you, and even if you did get back together it wouldn't last. I believe if you really want someone you tell them, which you have done, so now it is HIS turn to contact you should he feel he is losing something he loves. I think if you just gave him some space to clear his head a bit and really, REALLY miss you, that would prompt him into action and if you don't hear from him well...you have your answer! I know you probably miss him terribly and regret what you did but try and have faith in your feelings and your decisions...and even if you regret what you did now, whats done is done and it is no longer in your control unfortunately....its now up to him. I have recently broken up with a boyfriend of 4 yrs and instead of focusing on regret, I'm trying to see it as a positive and an opportunity to relly test myself and see what/who else is out there! Try to keep yourself busy with friends, work, study, sport whatever....and give yourself some good TLC time too! That way by keeping yourself distracted and loving yourself you won't feel so desperate for the love of someone else...which ironically makes you more attractive anyway! And you will start to see things with him differently...you might even get over it completely! I noticed you talked about your ex....try not to bring those things into it, every situation is different and you should let go of the past, cos otherwise you'll feel like bad stuff happens to you all the time which isn't true. Learn from all your experiences...it can only make you stronger

[jackie1982]

i cant do this,every mornin im wakin up with such a horrible feelin in my stomach,a massive lump in my throat,i know his feelings 4 me hav obviously changed and i cant help but blame myself,why werent i good enuf 4 him,why didnt he try?why am i left feelin so empty and like i cant go on. hes left a dvd here and i keep thinkin arr a little txt to tell him,let him know if he wants to txt me he can.i dont feel im strong enuf to just stop thinkin about him,yet i need to because iv got my finals in 2 months,iv been goin out thurs nite i went out and got so drunk i had to b brought home early,this is affecting me so bad and i wish id given him his space,i know yer i cant go bk and change the past and yer i know we gotta learn from our mistakes but i cant go on,i dont feel like im strong enuf to go on nemore.im never gonna b good enuf.what did i do wrong?i cant stand the thought of some other girl makin him happy when i know at one point i did and i wanted to carry on bein that girl. he was so perfect 4me,this is too hard.id b dealing with this if he didnt mean so much!yet everything in this town now is gonna b a reminder,whenever i go into town ill remember the places we went to,remember him.i see other couples and its hurts, i see any romance between other people and i cant look,i wish i could just forget about him but i cant...im not jokin i seriously cant deal with this,why did i screw up so bad.i feel so humiliated

[jackie1982]

and in responce to S4il-u obviously havnt been following my story.me tellin him he still needs space to sort his head out wont hav come that much of a shock-thats the reason he gave in the first place for wanting some space.

[shazza]

Firstly, let me assure you what you're feeling is perfectly normal - your grieving, and you wouldn't be grieving if you didn't feel anything in the first place. Unfortunately, that is one of the con's of falling for someone. What you need to do is accept what you're feeling and try and accept what has happened - and please, please believe me, you won't feel this way forever and things will get easier.....Understanding and accepting what has happened won't make the pain go away, but it will lead the way to feeling better, because once you can accept its over you can focus on putting yourself back together. When you're feeling like you can't cope, try telling yourself: things WILL get easier, you WILL cope with this, and it WON"T hurt forever. Make the most of those who care about you, tell your friends and family that you may be out of character for a while and ask them to remind you to take it easy when you're out partying and to look out for you. But most importantly, don't allow yourself to be consumed with grief...you can't get rid of those feelings completely, but you can take steps to control it. Remember, you were a person before you met him and you are still you, if you try and be positive and help yourself you will be in a better position to sort things out with him down the track. You just have to ride it out unfortunately.....so when you're feeling fragile, remind yourself that this will pass and you will manage, it just takes time. Good luck