Nearly 6 months very limited Contact and I am thinking about her again

[dhjjessel]

She called last week from an unknown number. Probably wouldnt have picked up if i knew it was her. Well, the conversation made me realise i am finally beginning to heal, and she said we should meet up when she got back from her weekend away. I think she gets back today, or maybe got back yesterday. Now, i am kind of looking forward to hearing from her. It's like i am now waiting for her call, same as i did when we were seeing each other. This worries me. It's like I am looking forward to proving to her that I have healed.

Maybe I havent healed? Maybe i should avoid all contact still?

what do you think?

[atelis]

what do you think her intentions are and what do you want? If reconciliation is too difficult for you, then perhaps it's better not to see her just yet.

 

I recall when i made a call to my ex of 5 years ago (i was the dumpee) i asked if she would like to meet for lunch. We hadn't spoken in 6-9 months, but when i spoke to her, it felt like speaking to a close friend........no heart palpatations, no anxiousness about meeting.........just like meeting a friend.

 

Perhaps you are not quite ready?

[Tanzi]

I guess that depends on whether or not you think you can handle the contact and what you are hoping to gain from it.

 

What do you think, or hoping, that she wants? If somewhere deep down there is that little bit of hope that she wants you back then you probably havent healed completely.

Do you think, therefore, that contact may cause you a setback.

 

Its a difficult one and not one that I can be of much help with other than to advise you to give it a lot of thought before deciding what to do.

 

Perhaps its best to wait to see if she contacts you rather than you contact her.

[dhjjessel]

I guess i can say for certain I am not over her. As soon as she is in my mind, she sets up camp there, and then my feelings for her re-emerge

I will definitely let her initiate contact, but I will probably be in expectation of contact every dang day until then, like I was when we first broke up.

Perhaps I should just put myself back into the mindset of NC, and hope that this stops me from hoping for a phone call

[Tanzi]

The thing is I can never understand why they need to make contact. Why can't they allow us to move on. I guess the hope is that they want us back. So all the while they keep up with contact we keep up with hope and its that hope that stops us from moving on.

 

Perhaps when she calls ask her what it is that wants to see you for. If it is just "to get together" or "to catch up" then I would seriously think about NOT doing it. The last thing you want is to undo all the hard work you've put in so far.

[dhjjessel]

I feel like I am capable of seeing her and being ok with it.

Putting the pressure on her of asking "what do you want from me?" will only make me appear weak, and prove that i havent moved on.

I am almost certain she is seeing someone else, so if she wants to see me, it will be because she misses me (but not enough to want me back) and if that is the case, I just have to maintain control of the situation and have NO expectations

I will re-read majord's post on the matter

[l9grl]

"why are you contacting me?" would be a really good question to ask - if she cannot even answer that, don't bother meeting up with her

 

if she doesn't know what she wants, she is just wasting your time and potentially stringing you along with false hope

[ironman]

Do you want her back???if you don't forget about it, don't contact her.if you do ,you got the upper hand if you play it right because you already know her and you know what to expect,you won't fall for the same mistakes again.

[dhjjessel]

i dont want her back when she has chosen to be with someone else.

I am no fallback guy

but i do want her back