what wrong with me

[microndrz]

ok well i have only had one real relasionship for 2 years its been about 4 years andi have not found another GF i am a very picky person and very shy. i go out with my buddies and they talk to women like it is nothing. i know i am shy but i dont know how to over come this. i also think that i compare way to much to my ex i am college student and not looking for the college student type. if you want ot know what type of person i am looking its not out there. but this is how my buddy explains it to me. she would be a catholic student doesnt smoke drinks socsialy no tats and could bring her home to mom

now i know its probly not out there but i jsut dont know what to do

well any help would be appreciated

thanks

[Alien777]

First of all there is absoultely NOTHING wrong with you if you do not have a girlfriend. The sooner you get that out of your head the better. I know exactly how it feels to go out and all your buddies are either scoring or chatting up some girl and all you can do is stand there like a spare part. Let me share something with you. When my best friend Wayne and I go out he always (99% of the time) either pulls someone, gets a number or meets some real cool interesting people. Why, you ask? because he always gets 10 points for trying, does not let defeat or rejection get to him in any way and does not hestitate to make his move. Now what you have to do is take things one step at a time. The only way you are going to find the one you are looking for is to get out there and operate. The next time you go out make a point of just approaching 1 girl and try to talk to her. If she is rude or not interested forget about her, its her loss. The sooner you comfront being shy and self conscious, the sooner things will change for you. Last thing dont listen to everything your buddies say - they are not always right. Hope things go well and good luck!

Bye

0X

[zippitt]

I am dealing with the same issues, I am still pretty shy. I go out with my friends and brother and they all have no problem picking up or chatting with girls. I am learning though, start off small. I will give you an example of starting off small, something I did last night. My friend and I have a table, we showed up early to this club. Well as it started to pick up there were people showing up everywhere. There were two girls standing around by themselves driking when two other guys started chatting. I was observing to see how they do it. I come to see that these two guys and girls are totally uncomfortable with eachother. They are not even really talking, just holding their drinks looking around. Now this helps to watch other people with the same issues, believe it or not a lot of guys have a hard time talking to girls easily. So I thought to myself, if I was in that situation what would make me a little more comfortable. Well sitting at a table would! Meanwhile my buddy leaves the table to check out the dance floor. So I walk up to the group of 4. I asked them if they were going to be at the club late. They weren't too sure. I just told them my friend and I were going to be leaving in about an hour so they could take our seats. There were droves of people waiting to get the seats. After telling them this one of the girls had the biggest smile on her face and was complimenting me on how sweet I was. Not always the best thing to hear from women, but it did help with self confidence. Well as it turns out another table opened up right after and the 2 couples got to sit down. Next time I will ask those two girls to sit down before 2 other guys start talking to them. Anyway try to be nice, start off small like that. It will eventually pay off.

[Neo7]

I don't know if this answers your question or if it is even gonna help. But a good friend and very wise person once told me. Your not goin to find anyone perfect. No one is god and you yourself aren't perfect. It makes sense if I think about it. True, there are certarin girls that are "our" type and girls that aren't. But having this list of things you want and if she doesn''t posess these qualities then you aren't interested it somewhat shallow minded at LEAST IN MY OPINION. I used to be like that, but realized no one is perfect, everyone has flaws. For instance, I like to drink beers on occasion, and watch football on saturday and sundays. I sure wouldn't like it if a girl turned me down or wasnt' intersted just b/c I liike to drink and watch football. I've been told I"m a very sweet person and treat girls great. What does watching football on the weekends and drinking the occasional beer have anything to do with how I treat a female. Catch my drift. I used to not be into girls who smoked cigerettes and really I"m not. However, i met this one girl about a month ago and have been hanging out with her. She's cool, and treats me right, should i just not hang out with her b/c she smokes cigerettes every so often. See what I'm saying no ones pefect. Go out, meet girls, base your feelings on how they treat you not some of there habits. Sorry didnt' mean to write you a book.

[microndrz]

thanks guys for all the help