I let him dance and flirt with other girls

[Purple53]

I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 20. I really do love him and understand that he is still young and wants to enjoy his early 20's. So did I when I was 20. This weekend he had mentioned that he thinks he wants to go out with just the boys. (He didn't) Well, we all went to this bar/lounge and he was standing by my side for a while. I told him he doesn't have to stand up next to me that he should go have a good a time and dance with someone. Well, he did and I was ok with it (really). However, later on I found out that the girl he danced with wanted to take him home that night (he told me). Now, i'm not sure if I did the right thing. I don't want to lose him because he wants to have some fun and I don't want to be the overprotective/insecure/jealous girlfriend but do I look stupid letting him flirt with other girls. (The truth is it does bother me but I would rather him know he can be himself and still be with me, just as long he doesn't cheat on me)

[Sarah_maria]

hey,

i think u'r lookin at this from a wrong perspective.. a 20 yr old is old enough to no wat a serious relationship is, and can tell the difference between right n wrong.. if he allows himself to be lured by other girls then that just means that he isnt loyal enough..

i dont no how committed u r to each other, but if u say u love him then i think u should share ur worries w/ him, n talk this out. i believe that no matter what age u r u realise how important being in a reltionship is, if he is not willing to be serious w/ u then i guess this relatioship will b going nowhere. however, the fact that he told u about the girl means that he trusts u n is tryin to b honest w/u. everybody flirts, noingly r not, but if he comes back to u at the end of the day and is committed 2 only u, then u should rest assured that the situation isnt as bad as it seems 2 u at this point of time.

neways try 2 have more confidence in urself .. he entered this relationship noing the age difference between u, so age should not b a problem..

i'm sorry if wat im sayin isnt helpin ne1 bit, but ur problem intersted me n so i had post something,

Luv sarah

p.s u should trust urself 2 dance n flirt w/ other guyz, if u love ur bf then u no theres no risk, if he loves then u trust him

[LaFlygurl03]

Hey there PURPLE:

I am the same way..i dont want to seem like im overprotective or what not. we would go out to the clubs together(we dont go there much) and we would dance, then i would tell him he could go dance with someone else..he danced with someone and that was it...he came back over to me...i trust him enough. he knows the limits. i told him i dont care if he looks but he better not touch...he knows what im talking about..i try to be lenient (dont know if i spelt that right). and not to sound like his mother, i mean im only his girlfriend. but if i start to feel uncomfortable i will tell him...and he understands and stops..lol! but good luck hope it all turns out good!! and remember dont party to hard!!!! *shauna*

[LaFlygurl03]

............OH and to add, i dont let him flirt with other girls...just a little dance, which he has only done 1 time! *SHAUNA*

[Purple53]

Thanks Sarah and Shauna, I feel better about this. Your both right, I need to have more confidence. He is the type that likes attention. He brags about it actually. He always tells me that he loves the way I am and that he can't find that anywhere else. His ex always accused him of cheating on her because of the way he is so you know i'm trying to be better than her. I actually love is his confidence, it kinda rubs off on me. By the way, I'm not really the flirting type unless I really like that person so my perspective on this is swayed. Thanks again.

[Tinkerbell]

You should definitely let him know that it's bothering him, men aren't mind-readers and chances are if you're just pretending everything is alright he won't notice. Besides, if he gets carried away and it really gets to you, you might blow up on him, which would be unfair since you told him that you didn't mind. Get my drift? Let him know how you feel before it turns into an argument.

[Tinkerbell]

bothering *you

 

Sorry about the typo!

[Purple53]

Well, when he told me that she wanted to take him home, i told him that i didn't like that and I also told him and he should know his limits. i guess what's bothering me is that there are girls out there that just don't care. she knew he was with me and she told him to leave me home next time. i laughed it off but damn, i wanted to punch her out. i don't want this experience to cause me to be jealous and insecure. you know how guys say they trust you but they don't trust other guys.... i know i have to trust him.

[laadied]

I think that the fact that he was honest and told you what the chick said should be reason enough to just let it go. You can't control what other people do or think as long as he is handling his side of the bargin let the women talk. Believe me I have been in your situation many times, where a girl wanted to get on my man, and I used to get mad, but then I thought about it, How would I feel if he got upset with me everytime I told him about what some guy offered me or said to me? I would be turned off and I would stop telling him things, and it would hurt our relationship. As long as he is not giving in to their offers you are good to go.