how has your idea/definition of love changed as you've grown older?

[mentee]

just curious (:

[Girl wants EX]

Sure. I changed it to the idee of, if he worths my love or not, then I will decide to love him back. I will take my time and evaluate the potential in the relationship.

[Lionel Hutz]

Yes. Love is not enough. She can love me to death but if other things are not in order its not worth much. Also loving myself means living in moderation, not in over indulgence. The only true love I feel come from our mothers. Ive learned that you can love things but is the reason actual or made up. Fantasy dances with love too often for me sometimes.

[greywolf]

It's changed so much I couldn't even type it all.

I guess the biggest change is that I believe love actually exists now.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I have never understood love.

[Elsewhere]

I thought love just comes for everyone - everyone gets it at some point.

Yea - some kind of love does come - but happy love happens only to the lucky winners.

 

So conclusion is: fight for your luck or you may end up lonely.

Conclusion #2: if you're unlucky you can fight all you want and still end up lonely

 

I didn't have much good experience with love...

[steelcitymstro]

I used to think that love was a state of being that you entered into. I now think it's a state of being that you have to create, cultivate and maintain.

[cykosomatik]

I love you because I just do, not because I need you to love me. You're love just adds to my happiness, it does not create it. I love myself first, before I can love anyone else, or anyone else can love me truly. Otherwise, I am just placing a huge burden on someone else to do my job, to love myself. That's what makes the relationships impossible.

 

We seek to be loved by someone, b/c we don't love ourselves. Once the person that comes along, loves us, without us loving ourselves, then they become something that they are not, in a sense they work extra hard to compensate what is missing in you, to the point of not being themselves. If you think about it, we've all been there. And most of us are still there.

[doc wannabe]

When I was younger, my idea of love was quite codependant. Someone who would dedicate themselves to me even at the expense of their own personhood. (Yeah, I know .... that's why I had therapy).

 

Now it's more of a Venn diagram, two whole, independent souls with their own lives, goals, motivations, and behaviors who join together in a stronger unit.

 

Maybe that doesn't make any sense ...

[cykosomatik]

When I was younger, my idea of love was quite codependant. Someone who would dedicate themselves to me even at the expense of their own personhood. (Yeah, I know .... that's why I had therapy).

 

Now it's more of a Venn diagram, two whole, independent souls with their own lives, goals, motivations, and behaviors who join together in a stronger unit.

 

Maybe that doesn't make any sense ...

 

it makes perfect sense to me bro...thanks for saying it...

[anbreeuh]

I've grown from feeling that love was a give all, expect none in return deal to believing in truly unconditional love. I will be fought on this, as I have been many, many times. However, I could care less. To me, love is not expecting anything more than the other can give, and loving them in an all-encompassing way..for their better qualities and their lack thereof. Love is aging together, growing with the aid of the other, a newly-found need for them in your life, knowing they're your 'wonderwall,' so to speak. Love is simple, true, rare, and precious.

[waveseer]

Love used to be about giving, now it's about sharing.

[cykosomatik]

Love used to be about giving, now it's about sharing.

 

you got that right

[shenn]

When I was younger I was pickier because I had this idea that everything in life would oneday work out the way I planned. Now that i'm older I realize nothing is perfect and nothing works out like you think. I am less picky and more open to the person and their flaws. I am more forgiving of mistakes becuase I have made so many. Most important, when I was young I thought of love as exciting and something that was passionate and all encompassing. Now I see it as more about compatibility, stability, security, and comfort. I don't need passion, I need security. I want to know I can spend the rest of my life with this person and not worry about them getting tired of me.

[COtuner]

I've focused far more on the friendship aspect of love as I have aged and less on the lust and passion. If offered, I'd take a man who would be my best and closest friend forever over one who was good in bed or looked like my "perfect" stereotype any day. The odds are good I'll never find a guy who will be that close to me, but it's just a concept to show how I've shifted my thoughts from my early 20s fantasies about kissing a guy with the most handsome face I could imagine.