Ex gf contacts me after 5 mo's of NC

[fanox]

Hey there, all!

I had very little contact (through txt msgs and a 2 min. call) with my ex gf few days ago. We last saw each other in late November '08, and since then only texted each other once/twice during the winter holidays. We were together for precisely 1 year.

 

One night recently (I work overnight), while with a customer, I received a call from that deleted but well known phone number of my ex's. I didn't pick up cuz I was busy, and shortly after, she texted me saying that she missed me and she hopes that I'm okay. I responded shortly that I was busy, and I'm good. That's our first communication at all.

I waited a day or two and called her one morning (as she requested) and reached her voice-mail greeting. ...a week goes buy...

This past Wednesday, at night, I sent her a text message saying Hi, asking if she has a minute to talk, and telling her that I've just smelled her favorite detergent at the store, and that it brought me back 10 mo's. It was a simple, positive, cool message. On the next day we have a short fun text message session which results in a 2 minute laughing phone call and we agree that she'll call me later. She has not yet called me.

This happened on Thursday, and I've been very busy till today (monday).

I want to mention that I'm not feeling bad about all this at all.

 

I want to know how to respond if my ex contacts me again.

I don't want to talk to her though; I feel like I want to see effort from her. I want to feel "the submission" or "the interest" or "the weakness" from her side. I admit this is a bit revenge-like, but I don't really have the intentions to play revenge games. I just want to regain respect for her, I really do. (but maybe than I'll love her again)

 

What will happen if I just don't respond to her friendly, cool next message Will I be the unreasonable jerk? I don't want to be uncomfortable if I meet her on the street. It seems that she communicates only when convenient to her, and I don't like that. Yet, it's a lot from her to drop the "alpha female mask" and tell me that she misses me.

 

What do you guys think. Is it foolish of me to respond friendly to her friendly, or should I ignore any contact? I do want to display that I'm cool with the way things are, and still let her know that I miss her but not much more that that.

I just want to make things easy for me, and live comfortably. I'm a bit confused on what are the possible outcomes of our situation. We won't be together again for sure. But yet, are we really just going to never talk to each other? Does this contact mean that she's done with the new guy. And if so, does that change things?

 

I would appreciate any input, Thanx!

[IMAbadman]

So when exactly did you do 5 months of no contact?

 

Per your post, "I had very little contact (through txt msgs and a 2 min. call) with my ex gf few days ago. We last saw each other in late November '08, and since then only texted each other once/twice during the winter holidays."

 

This is called limited contact.

[fanox]

Sorry for the confusing writeup!

 

I meant to say that we broke up in November, and have not communicated since. Just now, two weeks ago, she called me and texted me late at night while I was at work (probably drunk). Then one week passes, i text her, and on the next day we end up texting and talking very very shortly. Literally 3 sentences each, and agree to continue late that day.

 

The generic text messages on Christmas were a mass text messages, it was not a conversation.

[volpe]

it doesn't sound like she is making much effort at all.... just enough to make you feel bad, wonder, write on here... also it seems like she really disappeared when you needed her the most, so i don't know if you forgot what she did or you are making excuses for her or if you decided it didn't really matter. there are a lot of contradictions in what you write and feel. i would suggest you think about what you really want with her, if that is possible, and what you do to get there. if you want to be with her again, really consider if you want that, then if her behavior is congruent with her wanting that.

[IMAbadman]

Ah... I see now.

 

The short story version. Let her put some effort in to this. Let her do the initiating for awhile. You’ll feel out her intentions quickly as to where she see this going. But she’s already blown off a call… so don’t read into this whole recent contact too much.

 

She may have just broken up or had a fight with the other guy she’s seeing. You’re there for a shoulder to cry on, place to vent, ego boost… whatever.