imsuperman Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I was wondering how to go about finding where a friend of mine was buried. I've never visited her and she's been gone almost 4 yrs. I heard she's off a road I know of, but there are about 4 cemeteries in that area. I'd prefer to know which one I'm headed to ahead of time. I also wouldn't know where the plot was. My grandpa is buried in one cemetery off that road so I'm hoping that's the one she's at. Can I call and ask places or what? Link to comment
Xetra Dax Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Well, i think the fastest way is to call or visit her family, if you aren't on good terms with the family i would indeed suggest trying to call the cemetery that you think she most likely is buried at. Visiting 4 cemetaries at random isn't too smart, especially if they are ultra huge, that's something you'd only do as a last resort. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 Just left a message. Gave my name and number and my friend's name. They gave an "emergency number" to call the superintendent but I didn't use that. I don't want to bother him. Hopefully they get back to me. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted April 26, 2009 Author Share Posted April 26, 2009 She's not at that one. Gonna leave a message at two other cemeteries (I guess) today but they both have the same number. Link to comment
KG Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 Good luck! I hope you find your friend. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted April 27, 2009 Author Share Posted April 27, 2009 Left a message at the other ones today. It's Sunday so they'll call back tomorrow hopefully. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted April 27, 2009 Author Share Posted April 27, 2009 A quick update: The other place (or places) haven't returned my call and it's been close to 24 hours. I was hoping they'd get right back to me like the first place did. If they don't call me today they probably won't call me at all. It's frustrating. This is harder than I thought and I don't know what my options are since these places are 25-30 minutes away. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 Said she never heard of that name (sigh) Link to comment
Xetra Dax Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Well i think its a little strange to expect a quick reaction over those who have deceased. They're probably thinking something like: if she's dead why are you in such a hurry? I don't think those kind of people are the ones you should expect to give quick responses like you see at emergency rescue services, i really sense you don't have such a tight bond with her family, or more better said she probably didn't have a tight bond with her family , so my suggestion is to contact her family's family, like aunts, as usually females remember those small details better. That way you won't get into contact directly with people you dislike but might still be able to get the information you need. Its a suggestion, i have no idea how much you dislike the family or what the hell was going on in that family or whatever it was that killed her. Because i think you need to resort to another method to get that information :S. Link to comment
KG Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Can you access the obits in the newspaper from your computer? That may lead you in the right direction. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 Oh...I just think it's courteous to call back within about 24 hrs. I got over-zealous on the second lady because the first spoiled me and called back just a couple of hours later. Lol @ "emergency services." Sorry, I totally didn't give you guys enough info. I don't know her family at all. Her, her mom and 8 year old brother died on their way to a college orientation in a car accident. I had just started getting to know her our senior year. We only hung out outside of school once or twice. A few of my friends and myself got together and had a vigil at school that night. I was puzzled and shocked by her death for a few months, but I hid it well. I feel strange about my strong feelings I have regarding her death since I didn't know her well compared to a lot of people. I've always wondered where she was buried. In the summer I sent her best friend a facebook message asking, and she said "I think it's off (such and such) road." She offered for me to come along with some of her close friends (earlier this month I think to go and visit) but I told her honestly that I'd feel a little out of place because I don't really know those people well. So I'm kind of in an odd spot here. I'm trying to just find out and go by myself. Which has turned out to be more difficult than I thought. My local newspaper's web site only keeps obits for a year. This is one of those things I should have pursued much sooner but just didn't for whatever reason. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 2, 2009 Author Share Posted May 2, 2009 What's happening: I called two more cemeteries along that road and she wasn't there. I had not previously thought of her descent. There is a tiny Muslim cemetery up that way. she was of some (perhaps Middle Eastern?) descent, but didn't wear any head dress, was born here, didn't have an accent, and didn't speak of any religious affiliation. I ran up there today to check out the Muslim cemetery just in case but the gates were closed. (I was meeting a friend for lunch up that way anyway) I left a message with a guy who has the records there yesterday, and he hasn't gotten back to me. Her first name is Arabic. You'd think in the 21st century you'd be able to find something like this. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 So I guess the Islamic Cemetery is not calling back. Great. I also think the address may be wrong on their web site. When I went up there Saturday I saw some short, closed gates. The only way I knew where it was was the address on a mailbox. There's a house right next to it and no visible cemetery and no sign at all. I have no idea what to do now. Link to comment
KG Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Can you try the Facebook friend again? Perhaps with more people looking, it would go quicker. Are these cemetaries big? Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 Tried facebook girl again two days ago. Nothing from her yet. Might try to phone up that Muslim cemetery people again. Maybe I could ask one of the guys at their offices if he could contact the guy with the records for me? Hmmm... Link to comment
KG Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Keep pursuing it from every angle. Somehow, I know you will succeed. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 Keep pursuing it from every angle. Somehow, I know you will succeed. Always do. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 She's been on fb since then. Hurm. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 I finally manned up and facebook messaged her 18 yr old brother. He told me what to look for but didn't give a name. I think it is the Islamic Cemetery, but like I said I couldn't find any evidence of it when I drove up there last. Green gates. Brick road divider. On the left. Link to comment
KG Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I finally manned up and facebook messaged her 18 yr old brother. He told me what to look for but didn't give a name. I think it is the Islamic Cemetery, but like I said I couldn't find any evidence of it when I drove up there last. Green gates. Brick road divider. On the left. Ask the locals...... Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 Ask the locals...... Maybe...if I see any. It's on a busy two-lane road. I'm probably going Saturday. Link to comment
KG Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Maybe...if I see any. It's on a busy two-lane road. I'm probably going Saturday. Try a Post Office? Or Police Station? Someone there must know. Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Ok. This is weird. I called another guy there today and he told me the place I went to before is indeed the Islamic cemetery. They only allow visitors in and they have to know the combo to open the gates. He gave me the combo. As glad as I am to see that my ninja skills come in handy in day to day life, this is the strangest thing ever. I think there are two entrances into the cemetery, and I'm coming from the south and not taking the freeway, so I have to take the top secret ninja entrance, lol. I'm pretty sure she's there (I'll basically give up if not, it's just too far to be trekking up there all the time.) Now I can see why her brother said he didn't like going there. But he never said anything about a combo. Whatever. I'll head up there this weekend. Link to comment
KG Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Good for you...patience pays off. Secret combo thing sounds cool/spooky. Bring a Ninja knife. Seriously, glad it paid off. And if you don't find the spot, she knows you tried. It's what counts! Link to comment
imsuperman Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Good for you...patience pays off. Secret combo thing sounds cool/spooky. Bring a Ninja knife. Seriously, glad it paid off. And if you don't find the spot, she knows you tried. It's what counts! Yeah, I'm REALLY excited. First off, let me say that the Islamic Committee men who helped me were like the nicest guys ever. They were so easy to talk to. They seemed a tad curious about my calling, given that I'm clearly a white American, but they were really nice. I don't mean for that to sound condescending in any way. I really appreciate their patience with me. The lesson here is: If you bother people enough and spread out your bothering, you'll get what you want! I probably won't take pics at the actual cemetery, but I might take a pic of the entrance. It's so cool! There's huge old trees all around and million dollar homes on the street. And right down the road just a little bit is a mall roughly the size of Tahiti with a ton of shopping centers. I'm about 90% sure this is it. I can't wait for Saturday! Link to comment
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